Married Life
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Randoms.
I would call the bank and ask.
Nu - you've told your husband you plan to leave him and he doesn't care? Does he know you are serious? If so, I'd start gathering your data *now* - scan and copy bank account numbers, balances, etc. He sounds like the type to freeze and drain everything himself so get your evidence together.
If he is on board, perhaps this could be an amicable split.
I don't see why, if you are on the account, you couldn't just go into the bank and withdraw it. I would leave a couple grand in there, so he doesn't get a low balance alert and you get some time. Would your parents support you leaving?
http://divorcelawattorneyslongisland.com/getting-divorced-can-i-take-money-out-of-the-joint-account/
I think I'm going to have to contact a lawyer first.
It looks like at most I can only take out half of whatever exists in an account.
I have, but it's always possible he isn't taking me seriously.
I am serious.
I am not going to continue like this.
I think you should contact a lawyer asap. And the next time it reaches a decent high, I would take half out and open an account.
No, I don't think they would be supportive really. They would let me stay at their other home, but I wouldn't want that to continue for too long--it would be uncomfortable.
As an aside, the day I was married in front of my in-laws my mother said, "You made your bed and now you have to lie in it."
What kind of account is it? A savings account? There is probably a minimum you could withdraw per day or per week.
You would have to do it quickly so as not to attract notice.
Even if it is only half you have access to, do it, and put it into account that ONLY YOU can access.
I know staying at your parents' other home doesn't sound great right now, but it is a bright spot in an otherwise crappy situation.
You are brave and awesome!
And I second what the PP said about scanning and making copies/taking screenshots of all important documents and accounts.
Good point. Wait to put it in a bank account. Do you have somewhere safe you could keep it, where you could also access it in a hurry if you had to?
I also agree with the cash back option. Especially the "surprisingly low total" thing. Choose an amount that sounds like something he would expect.
i am really proud of you to hear you say this.
I can still remember the feeling. And it was so much extra money! And the house smelled better! And I did not have to lug all that crap everywhere,
Yay for you!
AB, definitely, definitely, definitely see a lawyer first thing. I wish I had seen one sooner.
Good luck to you. I'm here if you ever need to talk. You'll be so happy once you do this.
LOL. It looks like you're insinuating your house smelled better after you kicked out your H.
Suesue, AB needs your counsel and advice!
F*CK YES APPLEBEAR!
YES YES YES YES YES.
Go you!!!!! Stand up for what you deserve!
And also, as an aside: f*ck your mom. What a jerk.
Updated September 2012.
AB, I think of know what you need to do but it worries me that just yesterday you were posting about a house you wanted. I just want to caution you against going with the flow any further until you get your ducks in a row. I'm worried you're going to end up with a mortgage and maintenance in a house and feel even more trapped. I'm worried he's going to finally take you seriously and buy a house to keep you there.