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Taking day off for friend surgery but? (WWYD ?)
I have a friend who asked if I could be there for her when she has surgery. This surgery is a really big deal for her because she decided to wait until marriage before doing the deed and she has severe cysts and other things going on that is not going to allow her to get pregnant the natural way after surgery. She knows I have another trip planned and that It was not easy for me to get this day off from work.
Last night, my friend provided me the information on the surgery?s location and time via text. What she didn?t know was that anyone who responds to the text, all of the contacts she included was also copied. So, I got some responses from unknown numbers saying they will be there.
This really bugs me. It makes me wonder why she didn?t tell me that other friends will be there and why she feel like she didn?t have to disclose that information until the day of. Now I feel like she only wants me there to stroke her ego.
I think this behavior bothers me more than normal because of what happened last weekend with that guy who came over to help paint (The strange/random questions dude). I found out he had no idea who he was helping paint until the day before. She had wanted to see if he would keep his commitment to her first. Hearing her say that also makes me wonder why she needed that commitment.
Am I overreacting here? If not, if you were me, what would you say to her?
Re: Taking day off for friend surgery but? (WWYD ?)
One of them is a friend. She only has her parents for family. If she wants other people there, I am okay with that. I just don't understand her "beating around the bush" tatics and disclosing informations.
I guess I just can't help to feel in my gut that there is some sort of trust/power issue going on.
I guess you can tell therapy is been working very well for me, I can't help but to analyize my friendships and relationships with others since I want to make sure the next intimate relationship is healthy.
If I knew someone was going to have a hard time getting the day off AND had other people that were willing to be there for me, I wouldn't ask the first person.
I don't really have any advice for you but I would definately be a little irratated.
I wouldn't take off the day. Seriously - she has other support, they can be there for her.
I would tell her "I hear you have other support, and I'm so happy for that, because I really couldn't miss a day of work, and now I know you are in good hands! I'll be sure to stop by the hospital / your home after work to see how you are doing."
This! It's not like you can do anything for her while she is in surgery and if other people are going to be there when she wakes up I think just visiting after work would suffice
Maybe you could offer to make her some meals or something when she's home?