Do you ever feel you've lost yourself?

iamgrace

Or lost sight of what's important to you?

I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I'm having a hard time right now with the house, and Henry is teething and is effing crazy unhappy and H is working a lot, and I feel like an utter failure in regards to being a good, calm mom and so many other things. Living here is so much work, and I don't feel like I'm measuring up.

I can't even plant  peas properly. 

PI don't know where I going with this. Just tell me it will all be okay. Okay? 

Every time he starts with the whining and crying and general crappiness, I feel like I suck. Logically I know I'm being stupid, but I am feeling really lost right now.  

MaryWithoutSound

Yeah.  The worst part for me is that it's not related to how hard I'm trying. I can be busting my ass and watching everything go to shiitt and then other times I'm not even trying and I'm winning right and left.

jen_n_dave

I'm just tired.

In those rare moments that I get plenty of rest, I see that it's really not that bad. But most of the time I'm just tired  and in end-of-the-world mode.

iamgrace

MaryWithoutSound:

Yeah.  The worse part for me is that it's not related to how hard I'm trying. I can be busting my ass and watching everything go to shiitt and then other times I'm not even trying and I'm winning right and left.

yes, exactly. I feel like I am trying so effing hard, and for nothing. 

I even packed my screaming mess of a snotty baby up to go to the GD park ( because swinging makes him laugh) and when I got there I saw that the only baby swing in the place was all wrapped around the top bar and I was like whhhy do I even try?  I may or may not have cried at the swing. 

margotmacomber

Yeah I get that way a lot.  Being a SAHM after working since I was 15 is really hard, and DH is always at work, sometimes gone for weeks at a time.  I lose my sense of self since I'm not around friends or family right now.  That's why I come here and try to come back to reality.  

MaryWithoutSound

Nothing wrong with a little crying at the park.

It sounds like you need a break but I know that's not always an option.  If you can't get away for awhile you just have to convince yourself it's all temporary- it's all going to be okay.

Temp669138375003701

Yes, absolutely.  I feel that way now, in fact.  I cried when I missed the junior fan club people at the Phillies game.  Actually, I flew into a blind rage and THEN cried.  ha!

cvillebetrothed

of course.  it ebbs and flows.

dowagercountess

I am well medicated for this reason.

Tracita

Yes. It makes me damn depressed too. I complain all the time about having to take care of others all the time, and then when I get a few hours to myself, I seriously do not know what to do with myself. I used to have interests, hobbies, stuff I liked to do and cared about.

Ugh, now I'm even more depressed.

Sue_sue

Yes. I'm here at the movies watching a movie dh wants to see. Having eaten a lunch of what other people did not want. Going to see my kids in a show I saw last night too. Having done for others for the entire last month and havivg had exactly one day off besides this one in the last thirty,  I just want an afternoon one. Alone. 

Mooseloover

Yes, I posted a bit ago about feeling like I was losing at life.  I got some great advice and the best was to get some sleep.  It changed my world.  My dh took the babe for two nights straight and I just slept.  I also set up a weekly run date.  I know it's not what I used to do, but I have dropped some of my expectations if my self.  And realized as long as the babe is healthy.  It's ok.  But I certainly have lows and highs right now.

Quesera

The swing thing would have made me cry too. Those kinds of things are just the last straw sometimes. 

You're going to be ok. You're a good Mom and our kids are just going to be miserable sometimes.  

tabernac

i don't feel like i've lost myself and most of the reason is b/c i kept working on mat leave.  even though i felt somewhat 'groundhog day' and somewhat isolated, i think that keeping in touch with my 'before'-life helped me not get to that odd place.

i will say though, that i am much more ocd and anxious than i ever was before having a baby.  and it is not directed at my child, but at the environment i am in.  i am a compulsive list-maker and i can no longer relax if i have anything looming over my head.  which is annoying!

hang in there.  you've had a lot of changes in the last year or so.  just the move alone is a huge adjustment.  let's not forget that you are a new mom too.  it's bound to make you feel off at times.