Teachers: is this weird/unprofessional, or is it me?

honeybee111

I teach elementary school.  I recently found out my coworker who teaches down the hall is dating a parent who has 2 children at my school.   Her son will be in my class next year.  My coworker started dating the parent when her son was in his class last year.  Last week, he brought her to a staff happy hour and some of the other teachers recognized her as a parent and it was all weird and awkward because no one knew they were dating and some teachers couldn't figure out why there was a parent at our happy hour.  I know my coworker's dating life is none of my business, but I just think it's going to be weird next year if I have her son in my class and, for example, sitting in a report card conference with the mom, and then hanging out with her at happy hour.  DH thinks I need to loosen up a little, but I guess I'm not used to socializing with parents at my school outside of school events.

AGsWife

I think it's weird that they started dating while her son was in his class, and I think it's weird he brought her to a work happy hour, but not weird that they're dating while the kid isn't in his class.

IrishBrideND

Dating parent of a current student is considered something worth termination. The exception would be a pre existing relationship before you taught their child. If they are not in your class it's fine. But in your class? Completely unethical. 

erbear

I don't think it's that odd (I mean, they're both adults) except for the part about him having her son in his class. That part is odd.

Joenali

IrishBrideND:

Dating parent of a current student is considered something worth termination. The exception would be a pre existing relationship before you taught their child. If they are not in your class it's fine. But in your class? Completely unethical. 

Termination? For being in a relationship with someone who happens to be a parent at the school? Really? That is crazy talk. Who cares if a teacher is in a relationship with a parent at the school. A teacher can be in realtionship wtih whomever they choose (as long as the person is of legal age) And also, why is it unethical that the kid be in the posters  class, where SHOULD this kid go?

Ready4theParty

I think it REALLY depends on the school and their code of conduct for the teachers.  If it's a religious school the administration might think differently than a public school.

I don't think this is weird or unprofessional.  But fwiw I also grew up with two parents who were my teachers in high school.  It happens a lot more than you think.  In most cases as long as the teacher is still acting professional as far as grades/treatment of the child go I don't see the problem.  I also don't see how the kid is different from any other kid as far as the poster is concerned.

trigal

I think it's unprofessional that a teacher would date the parent of a child in his/her class.  Wait until the end of the school year.  Also, I don't know that I would bring the parent to school events.  Well, maybe after they were well-established.

groovygrl

trigal:

I think it's unprofessional that a teacher would date the parent of a child in his/her class.  Wait until the end of the school year.  Also, I don't know that I would bring the parent to school events.  Well, maybe after they were well-established.

This pretty much. They should have waited and hopefully the teacher went to the principal/supervisor at some point to be up front about it.

To the pp who thought people should be able to date whoever they want, since they met because the child was in the class, not before and were dating while the child was still in the class, to me this could potentially bring up major major problems for the teacher & school if there was any suspicion of special treatment, favoritism or 'help' for that child that was not given to other children. 

That being said, they must have been pretty discreet that no one found out. 

pammieface

i think it's pretty unprofessional that they didn't wait until the kid wasn't a student in the teacher's class anymore before they started dating.  just a thought: how weird/uncomfortable/(whatever negative word goes here) would it have been if they had broken up while the kid was still in the teacher's class?

i also think it was a bad judgement call to bring a parent to happy hour, especially since they were just newly dating.  how awkward that must have been for everyone.  yikes. 

bearkatjen

I don't think a teacher dating a parent is unethical or weird. My parents were both teachers, and my mom taught my brother. She also taught most of the kids on our street, and it didn't matter if their parents were friends, family, or enemies, my mom had no trouble treating all the kids the same and without bias. My parents encountered "parents" outside of school events all the time. At church, at soccer practice, at the grocery store, while sitting around for an oil change, while out to eat... That's the norm when you live in the same community that you teach in.

groovygrl

bearkatjen:

I don't think a teacher dating a parent is unethical or weird. My parents were both teachers, and my mom taught my brother. She also taught most of the kids on our street, and it didn't matter if their parents were friends, family, or enemies, my mom had no trouble treating all the kids the same and without bias. My parents encountered "parents" outside of school events all the time. At church, at soccer practice, at the grocery store, while sitting around for an oil change, while out to eat... That's the norm when you live in the same community that you teach in.

I think you're missing the point that they met because the child was in the class and began their relationship while the child was in the class.  That is not the same thing as meeting a parent of a child out & about and the child eventually happening to be in your class or something along those lines. There is the possibility of favoritism & accusations of unfair treatment and for that reason, the teacher should have been cautious & delayed the relationship until the school year was over.  Healthcare providers can't date patients, college professors can't date students, supervisors should not date their subordinates & even some places forbid coworkers who are not direct reports to date each other. In this case, all ppl are saying is that to be the most professional, they should have waited until the school year was done to avoid any possible problems.

kirkette

Yes, I find it weird.

julieandjojo

It's unfortunate and definitely awkward but if it's a serious relationship then I think it's ok...now if it's just a frequent hook-up and hang out then that is just weird. But hey, some people meet in awkward situations and are meant to be together so, that could be their case.