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It's slow and I want to talk about my polyamorous friend.
This is long and sorta weird, so just kind of hang with me.
I have a friend who's been in a relationship with two men for 7 years now. She has been with one (the older one who is in his sixties) for 12 years and they have included the other one (who's in his forties) for the past seven. She just turned 32.
She and I met at a yoga class a few years back. She is a very nice girl, very hippyish, laid back, and into learning about alternative medicine. She met her second partner at work - she is a dancer.
While I'm not into polygamy myself, it seems to work for them. At least it has until the past few months. She found out she was pregnant about five months ago and the father (the younger guy (the other guy has had a vasectomy)) isn't excited about the baby and she's considering leaving him because of it. She told him from the beginning that she wanted children and he was on board up until now.
Anyways - I don't really have any questions and there's no real point to this story except that I find them fascinating and wanted to share. I have been to dinners at their home and my H and I have spent a lot of time interacting with them Their unique situation seems to work really well. I will be really upset if they end up splitting and I'm curious to see if all three will split or if her and the older guy will stay together.
There. That's my polyamory story. I hope you find it as fascinating as I do, but you probably don't.
Re: It's slow and I want to talk about my polyamorous friend.
I'm sorry. I'm not up on all the lingo. What should I change the title to?
That's totally fascinating!
Its actually neither. This is polyamory.
ETA - should clarify the actual act if all three are involved is menage a trois. But polyamory covers this type of relationship.
Yes - they just recently finished building their dream home together. As far as I am aware, the men do not have any sexual interaction with one another. The younger guy sleeps upstairs and she sleeps downstairs with the older guy.
Polygamy to menage a trois
Then what's menage? According to what I read in the past menage is shared love between three.
Polyamory is the current term.
God bless anyone with enough energy for two spouses.
Oh, so menage is passe.
It will be a major lifestyle change for all of them for sure.They currently travel a lot and are all very into their own personal hobbies, etc. She says that being up all night won't be a big deal for her anyways because she's already a dancer but I think it will be very different for her.
If it doesn't all fall apart I'm curious about what the role of the older man will be in the child's life. I want to ask her these things but I don't want to pry too much.
See I had this book when I was younger.
http://www.amazon.com/Three-Love-Menages-Ancient-Modern/dp/0062512951
I'm not sure. I know they split the cost of the house between the three of them so a third of it is definitely his. How would you even go about splitting this up in court? I really hope they do end up making it work.
Menage a trois is a single sexual encounter between three people.
Polyamory is the long-term multi-relationship lifestyle.
I hope she and the older guy stay together. It might be better without the younger one anyway. I can't imagine taking care of a baby and two husbands.
The older guy is on board - but is on board with younger guy as the father. As far as I know he doesn't want any fatherly duties (which is why he had a vasectomy many years ago). He already has two kids and doesn't want to go down that road again.
I think though that those two will stay together because he doesn't work. That's terrible of me to say, but I know he put what he had left of his savings into the house and he will need her as a source of income.
I know that he knew she wanted children which is one of the reasons that she pursued another partner - to find someone to father said children. She was upfront about that with him from the beginning but he's backing out now.
She dances at a club called "baby dolls". I think that probably clears up the ambiguity.
She's stopped dancing the last month because she is too big but is still waiting tables there and her regulars take good care of her.
While we're on the subject, What I've been most worried about is the baby's development because she inhales a ton of second hand smoke while at work every night. I don't see how it's any different than her lighting up every day for eight hours...
Wait, are you indicating that she also smokes in addition to the inhaled smoke that she is exposed to through her job?
No, no - I'm sorry. I'm not sure how I messed that up. This girl is the picture of health. She's very into fitness and is extremely meticulous about her diet, etc.
She actually reminds me a lot of theartofmakingababy chick. What I'm saying is that I worry for the development of the baby because she's at this club every single night inhaling a ton of second hand smoke.
She twirls around incense on stage.