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Do you like to spend Mothers Day with...
your kids? your mom? or alone?
If you like to spend it by yourself, do you feel conflicted about it? On this particular day, I want to do what I want to do. That is, have the house to myself, get my toes did alone, go to a movie alone, spend a couple hours in the garden. Alone. Of course DH's parents expect us to go to their house on Mother's Day. This annoys me to no end. The last thing I want to do on Mothers Day is sit in freaking church and be bored out of my mind. Mothers Day at his parents house is about HIS mother. So why do I feel guilty about letting him take the kids to his parents? Shouldn't I want to spend all day w/ my wonderful children? Changing diapers, making sure they're fed, watching them? Oh wait, I do that every day.
F_U_C_K it. I'm staying home this weekend. DH can take the kids. The thought of spending Friday night alone w/ some Chinese and "Jane Eyre" makes me positively giddy. Isn't that what Mothers Day is all about?
Re: Do you like to spend Mothers Day with...
I would love a day to myself, but I see mother's day as a family day. You know, a day where the kids have fun making you feel special. I totally plan on having DH change all the diapers though. And going out to eat so I don't have to cook.
We sometimes see my MIL on mother's day, but it is only for a couple of hours, either dinner out with them, or just going to their house for tea. I am NOT spending my whole day with my ILs, because then DH talks with his dad, and I am stuck taking care of the kids.
My parents usually work on Mother's day (restaurant owners) and this year they are on vacation in Greece. So I never have to "share" it with my mom, we do something for her a bit later normally.
Combo of alone and with kid/husband.
I want the day to be about me. My reasoning is I am in the thick of parenting right now. Our moms, although very special to us, are not in the daily chaos anymore so I don't feel bad about not dedicating the day to them. We buy gifts, we may go out for a meal at a different time, but we rarely spend it with them. Same goes for father's day.
I haven't decided what I want to do for Mother's Day. I would really like to just sit around in the sun with a drink in my hand, but since I am pregnant that won't be an option. :-)
I usually have to go to my grandmother's house for Mother's Day. This year I told her I would take her to lunch on the Saturday before so I can spend Mother's Day how I want. We are going to a Dodger game and my H is going to be my biiitch all day and take care of my kid's every need while I drink a beer and watch baseball.
:-)
What I want to do: be kid-free and take a nap.
What I will do: hang out with the H and kid so they can show their appreciation. When kid gets older I plan on celebrating every crappy paper flower and macaroni necklace he gives me and spending the entire MD with him and H.
Schedule your me day any other time but the actual Mother's Day. MD is for family.
We're having my parents over our house for brunch, which is what I'd prefer. No packing the kid up, my parents will monopolize her and I can do whatever. Also, my h and I are both very meh about holidays, so he probably wouldn't do anything anyways.
*ETA - and I manage to get away by myself pretty frequently, so I don't need to do it on MD.
I hate Mother's Day.
We rush through our morning so we can go to church with MIL (which isn't expected, but its nice).
Then we do whatever I want to do, before we rush through evening chores, clean up and drive 45 minutes so we can eat at IHOP and keep my kid out late, then drive home.
I know that this is flameful, but I can't stand my parents judging me. They always keep track- who calls first on their birthdays, blah, blah, but they never call or send a card or anything on my birthday. Mother's Day is about my mom and doing special things for her, but no recognition of the fact that I'm a mother and part of the day should be about me too. This probably all stems from the fact that I'm super resentful of my mom and everything she says/does, but it kind of burns my biscuits.
I hate that people on TN are all about how it's just a made up Hallmark holiday. I don't give a shiit. I want one day when I don't have to ask for me time.
I think you should send DH and the kids to MILs and not feel guilty about it. You do enough for them every other day.
IDK, if I was really wanting a day alone, I'd tell H to take S and get the helll out. I don't see that as a big deal at all.
Last year we went to a really fancy brunch so this year I want to do something low key. Maybe a picnic or grilling.
Mother's Day is typically spent doting on our mothers.
I'd be lying if I didn't say that I am bothered by it every year, but I don't see a way out. The last couple of years, my mom and I have gone out for a nice brunch, just the two of us. This is kind of nice because I get to eat in peace and drink mimosas.
We're having our families over for a cookout. If I'm ever a mom I'm sure I'd want to spend it alone or just with my mom.
71 workouts completed in 2012
I always feel conflicted on Mothers Day. Well, since having my own children. Before having my brood, I spent the day pampering my Mom. I would go to her house make her breakfast in bed, decorate and have presents waiting when she got up. Followed by going out to get our toes done and shopping. Then Dad would take her out to dinner.
That's actually a lot of fan fare huh? Now I'm the Mom and I still have my Mom. So I never know what I should do. Stay home and let H make me bad food? Go to Mom's and do what I normally do? Go later in the day with a present? Yeah.......
CONFLICTED
But what gets me- now that I'M a mom, it STILL falls to us to host everyone else. I'll put a smile on and go w/ it, but I do have moments of "Mothers Day is about ME too- what about what *I* want?????". maybe I don't want to have to clean my house this weekend, go shopping, and get everything in order???? Anyone think about THAT?".
I grumble silently and put on a good show and move on.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This is me, exactly. And I just want to be like "Hey, who needs a day of rest more? The mom who is retired, and has every day, all day to herself? The one who isn't yet retired but has no young kids to care for? Or the one who works full time in a demanding job and has two kids who are crazy busy?"
But I don't.
I did tell H that we're not having everyone over anymore - because it's more work and I am not going to spend my day waiting on everyone or it's going to get real bitter up in here.
Mother's day gives me total anxiety, last year wasn't pretty and I did quite a bit of crying.
We have a lot of sh!t to celebrate that Sunday, Mother's Day for each of our moms and my sister's birthday. MIL always gets salty that we only spend the morning with her and we do the rest of the day celebrating the birthday and my mom. This year my sister isn't available on Sunday so my mom wants to go to Atlantic City for Mother's Day on Saturday and then back to her house to celebrate my sister's birthday. My mom is cute though and does acknowledge that it is mother's day for me also which is nice.
Then Sunday morning we will spend it with his mom and the rest of the day we will be on our own. My mom isn't thrilled we had to switch it to Saturday but it was unavoidable this year.
Every other year when we try and cram it all into one day and even before I was a mom it was a lot to do in one day.
It won't work this year but I think that the three of us might start celebrating on Saturday with just the three of us so we can actually relax and do something I want to do. It is just impossible to try and see all of them and do something with just us.
Daycare is SO exhausting!
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I guess it's just the entire concept of packing up the kids, driving to ILs house an hour away, having to stay at SIL's house, going to church (yawn), having to sit through a lunch I don't want to eat and then me watching the kids while DH lays on the couch and watches Nascar with his dad. That's what we do every time we go to his parents. And it's exhausting. I can't relax. It's not about me...it's about his mom. So I make the decision that I'm going to stay home, but then I think that it's unfair that I'm not spending it w/ my kids. But then again, spending it alone might be nice.
This post spurred me to think about this.
I told H that I am thinking I want to take DD (5, which is an awesome age, very little work for most things!) and meet my mom for a nice brunch - a fancy girls' morning. Then we can do something girly after. DD would love it, my mom would love it and I would love it.
Then DH can take DS to see MIL, and he can wrangle the beast (that kid does.not.stop.moving.ever)
Good for you. Don't feel a bit guilty about this. ENJOY!
I think you should absolutely spend it alone. Hellll yes. I would not feel one bit of guilt about this. At all.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I couldn't disagree more. I see no issue in wanting to spend it alone.
This is how I feel too.
But - our moms had to feel the same way when they were our age, right? Did they have to wait for THEIR moms/MILs to die for the day to become about them, and is that why they hold on to it so hard (i.e. guilt trips if we don't spend the entire day with them)?
I've started to push back in the last calendar year. My mom and MIL both end up pissed off at every holiday, feeling like we're giving preference to what the other one wants to do. So, DH and I decided that if they're both going to be pissed no matter what we do, we might as well do what we want or what works best for us and let the chips fall.
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
I'm childless so I'm spending it with my mom.
I did ask her if she actually wanted to spend it with me, or if she wanted to spend it doing something else.
DH is taking his mom to a soccer game since he was not invited to the Mother's Day lunch is sisters are having with her the day before.
I also think of it as a family day. I want to spend it with my kids, and I also feel a responsibility to spend it with our moms too (and am happy to do so).
Ideally we'd spend the weekend at the beach, but my ILs get gypped enough as it is with summer holidays since we spend just about every weekend down the shore with my family. I can give them Mother's Day.
I agree w/this, enjoy your day blue