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Brother getting married at courthouse...
Hi all,
My brother has been with his fiance for years and they decided just a few days ago that they were just going to go get married at the courthouse this Thursday. They are doing it for insurance reasons, etc.
Anyway, they plan on having a nice destination wedding in a year or two (so they tell me), and are basically holding off on it until they "get in shape" physically.
My question is, would you give a gift of some sort (for this Thursday?) Im not sure what to do. Just knowing their personalities, I doubt they really will ever have a destination wedding, but, you never know. If I knew they had a " destination wedding" planned, I'd hold off on a gift until then.
I also feel horrible because I will not be able to go see them get married because I can not take off from work that day due to the short notice. Should I try and see if I can take off somehow? I feel guilty for not being able to be there for them.
Thanks in advance!
Re: Brother getting married at courthouse...
"Don't marry a man unless you would be PROUD to have a son exactly like him." ~ Unknown
A gift sounds nice.
I would not feel guilty missing a civil ceremony with 3 days notice.
If it isn't that big a deal to see if you can get Thursday off, I would try. But don't feel bad if you can't.
I think a gift would be great. Years ago I had a serious boyfriend whose sister eloped. I sent her a gift and he told me later that VERY few people gave them anything. I think people weren't sure because of the elopement. So she really appreciated my gift.
I would go to your boss and say "I was just asked by my brother to attend his wedding at the courthouse on Thursday, is there any way I could have the day off"
They may say yes...or no...either way you did try rather then assume you can't get off.
Give now a nice card and maybe a small sentimental gift (something engraved, a picture frame). Are they moving in together...if that's in the works you can wait until then and see what they need for a larger gift. If, by a year from now, they haven't had a housewarming or destination wedding, then give a one-year anniversary gift to be more suitable to the level of official wedding gift.
Thanks for replies!
First of all, THIS is their wedding. Whatever they do in the future is, at the very least a vow renewal unless their religion doesn't recognize anything but their ceremony.
Therefore, sending a gift now is the appropriate thing to do. IF they have a vow renewal, you can provide a small gift then.
And yes, you should ask about getting time off, but don't put your job at risk for their last minute decisions.
The courthouse counts. Give the wedding gift now. The destination wedding may or may not happen; priorities change.
I'd ask for the morning or aftrenoon off. If it was his funeral, you'd find a way to be there.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Yes, get them a gift - my SIL got married at the courthouse and we got her a gift and I knew that she wouldn't think to get herself a bouquet of flowers so I made one up for her and gave it to her right before the ceremony.
It's still a wedding - what they do later on is their choice regarding a destination wedding
Yes definitely get them a gift now. If you can't make it, maybe take them to dinner this weekend to celebrate.
*If* they have a destination wedding in the near future I don't think a gift is necessary then. I'm sure you'll be shelling out $$ to get there and I think that should be enough
If they're getting married on Thursday, THAT will be their wedding and that will be their wedding date. It's insulting when people refer to courthouse weddings as "still a wedding"... of course it is (!) and couples that opt for courthouse weddings are sure as married as the ones that had Pretty Princess Days. Sorry OP just a thought, I don't mean to attack your post - hope it doesn't sound like I am.
If you'd like to give them a wedding gift doing so at the time of their wedding would be the perfect time. A vow renewal might come or might not. I agree that it wouldn't hurt to ask your boss for the day off but if that doesn't happen you can take them out to dinner to celebrate or something.
I agree with this.