Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Tell me stories about your awful dates.
I stole this from TIP. Here's mine:
I went out with this guy a few (maybe 4?) times, and he was nice, smart, funny, geeky, all of which is good with me. So I invited him over for dinner. He showed up with a bottle of port, which seemed like a strange choice to me. Do people bring port to a dinner? Anyways, I don't like port, so I did not approve. He spent the entire evening trying to gaze into my eyes and murmuring. Gross. Then he tried to lead me over to the couch, eventually convinced me to sit down, kneeled in front of me, and sang Irish folk songs. Not very well. And he was not Irish enough for it to be charming.
I told him I had to be up early and he should go, then I told him I thought there was probably someone better for him out there the next time we talked.
Re: Tell me stories about your awful dates.
Guy talked about how he really liked to watch videos about decapitation and how you didn't have to worry about the level 3 sex offenders. It was the level 2 offenders that were dangerous.
I think he may have been f*cking with me. I stayed because it was the most insane date ever and I could not look away. Obviously no second date, but the good news is he has not come back to find me and decapitate me yet.
We're kind of going out.
I think I posted this before. Dude unrolled the condom and then tried to put it on. I was freaked out by the whole thing and left. I never talked to him again.
I guess that's more of an almost one night stand story than a dating story.
I went on a date with a guy as a teen, and neither of us drove yet, so we took the bus. We got to the restaurant, saw the menu with prices, and he said "Order anything you want." I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu anyway, and when the bill came, he went white and told me that he didn't have enough. So we had to throw in our bus money to cover the bill, which meant we couldn't get back home.
We spent a couple of hours searching the sidewalks for fallen change until I had enough to call my parents, who came and picked us up. While we waited, he confessed that he'd been having some confusing thoughts and feelings lately, and he thinks he might be gay. This great date was topped off by the fact that I was running so late that I had to go straight to tap class in street clothes, and got yelled at. It was awesome.
HAHA best date ever! what a dork~!
2 clomid cycles, 5 injectible cycles,7 total iui's,
ivf #1 cancelled due to dominant follicle.
IVF 1.2 October 2012: ER=7R, 3F, 5dt of two 'perfect' blasts,
bfp turned ectopic /nothing to freeze.
IVF #2: 2/5: ER= 10R, 5F. ET 2/8 of two perfect 5 day blasts, one to freeze.
BFP! 7dpt5dt Beta #1: 87 Beta #2: 242 Beta #3: 594 Beta #4:1200!
How did you keep yourself from laughing when he started singing the Irish folk songs?
On H and I's first date, he had purchased tickets for us to go to a concert. I had really bad acne at the time and tried a new face wash a day or two before. I woke up the next morning and my face was so swollen that I could only see out of one eye. The swelling had gone down a little (and by a little I mean I could see out of both eyes again but I still looked like I had the mumps). I knew he had spent a lot of money on the tickets and I had already had to back out of two previous dates we had planned because of school stuff that came up. I really didn't want him to think that I didn't like him so I went anyways.
He bought me a drink (I was underage at the time) and it was only my second time drinking. Of course I got super sick in the middle of the concert and he had to take me home.
Why he stayed with me, I'll never know.
this is the best teenage awkwardness story imaginable. you poor thing!
This dude thought he was IN! We talked about decapitation AND sex offenders! SHE IS MINE!
I love everything about this story.
I went out on a date with a guy in college, and he was creepy obsessive about me. The date was ok, if a little awkward, but then he showed up at my dorm the next morning to walk me to class, preceeded to walk me to ALL my classes the entire day (I guess he skipped his?) and basically wanted us to be together 24/7. Aside from the fact that that amount of attention is balls out crazy, who does it after one date?
And it was the most generic, non-chemistry but we could be buds date ever.
So like every mature adult at 19, I lied and told him I was getting back with my ex and had to "end things" (things that didn't exist after one date) And he cried. Like sloppy, nasty, mucus cried.
And for the record, I'm not that great, so not only is he crazy, but he's a bad judge of character.
Best story ever.
Was he a virgin? I deflowered a 25 year old virgin - it was not any fun at all.
I was 16 or 17 years old and met a guy at the grocery store (omg embarrassing). I had just broken up with someone and I was all "devastated" and stuff, so I was excited he asked me out. The day of our date, he called and said he forgot he wouldn't have his car and asked if I could come pick him up. Red flag #1. It took me 30 minutes to drive to where he lived, then I had to drive another 40 minutes to get to where we were going.
Once we got to the movies, he did the whole "oh I forgot my wallet" thing. I said "seriously?" and he assured me it was just a fluke. The movie we saw was terrible and I was so bored and he kept trying to hold my hand the whole time. I decided to bypass dinner and just take him home. He wanted me to come in and meet his mom, and for some reason I said ok. Omg. They were complete hoarders. Like, could barely even get in the door and dogs everywhere type of hoarders. I literally stood in one spot the whole time because I was afraid to move or touch anything. I told him I had to go and he walked me back out to the car. He kissed me and it was the WORST kiss I have ever had, even to this day.
I didn't call him after that and went on a church trip the next week. I was gone for 6 days and had no cell phone service. When I got back, he had left me 11 voicemails telling me how much he missed me
I never called him, then one day he showed up at my work! I finally told him I was not interested and the date I went on with him was one of the worst experiences ever. It was mean but I was a biitchy teenager.
I think I was in shock. I tend to have a wide eyed half grin when I'm amazed in that "oh my god, this is so hilariously wrong" way, so he may have thought I was into it.
And it is too cute that your h was smitten despite your bee sting face.
guy picked me up, we hardly got out of my apartment complex before i found out he had been in jail a short time for dui's. he also had some brain trauma from being thrown out of his jeep during one of these incidents, and he was sometimes overly aggressive, but he couldn't help it.
he dropped out of college and was working construction, but had a few things on the back burner. he left a two dollar tip on our $50 dinner bill. he dropped me off at my apartment and asked if he could use the bathroom. the only bathroom upstairs (you entered upstairs) was in my bedroom or my roommates bedroom. so he goes to mine, and comes out w/ no pants and lays on my bed. wtf. awful.
I've posted this before, maybe just on RE, but anyway, it's a doozy.
I had met a guy very briefly in January. Didn't see him again until I ran into him at an event in March, we exchanged numbers, set up a date. Point is, I didn't know him very well. Anyway, the day before the date he texts and asked for my email. I gave it to him. At some point during the date I asked him if he had emailed me something, because I didn't get it. He said, "No, it was for something else. I guess I can show you now." So, he pulled out his phone and showed me a website.
It was hisfirstnameandokla.com. He had taken my FB profile pic and a pic of him for the front page, complete with heart borders. He had a story of "how we met" and "first date" (which was inaccurate because we ended up going to a different restaurant than originally planned). The webpage also included a first date survey, with questions about the best part of the date, the worst part of the date and will there be a second date. I never answered the survey, and he never contacted me, either. I wish I had thought to get screen shots of the page because it was gone within a month. Wendy from RE saw it, though, and can vouch for its craziness.
I ran into him about a year later (about a year ago) and we talked for quite awhile. He agreed the webpage was stupid, and that it was stupid that he didn't call me. Sooo, we made plans to hang out again. And the mothereffer had the nerve to cancel on me at the last minute. I ran into him again a few months ago and he asked me out AGAIN. I told him no thanks, I have a BF.
wtf? why? why would you want to hang out w/ someone who made a couple's website before your first date? and used heart borders!
He was nice enough. And rich.
For us, obviously. Okla is a team player.
I went on a date with a guy that I had met online. He was actually very nice, cute and we had lots in common. We even had the same birthday. Lots of potential.
All was going well as the date came to a close and we had the first kiss. Not a bad kiss, but it lasted WAY longer than a first kiss should, imo. It was a mini make-out session. On the sidewalk in front of the bar. He is walking me to my car and his happens no less than 3 more times. Whatever, he seems nice and so we go on a second date the next week.
We go to a bar for drinks before our dinner reservations and he tries to make out with me again. In the crowded bar. Dinner was good, nice conversation, we go to a lounge after where I manage to deflect the crazy amount of PDA he is trying to put on me. Again.
On the way back to the car he makes several attempts at more public make-out sessions. In the following days he texts me at least once an hour, pushing for when we can meet up again, despite the fact that I am crazy busy trying to move and told him as much. He keeps asking when he can come see my new place and asking if we can do lunch on days I've told him that I have other plans. I stopped texting him back and after about another week, I guess he took the hint.
That is the (sorry it was so long) story of clingy, PDA (maybe an exhibitionist?) dude.
These stories are fabulous.
I met a guy through mutual friends, and we made plans for a movie. He picks me up, and gives me a business card with his name and phone number on it (this was a very long time ago, pre cell phones. I was probably 18 or so). Movie was fine, then he says he wants to go back to his place for some further festivities. I didn't want to, so he starts going on and on about he could have gone out with someone else that night who would have put out. I had him drive me home and never spoke to the egotistical creeper again.
Was in another city visiting my sister when I ran into an old friend, agreed to go out with him the next time I was in town.
Talked about it a few times on FB. He sounded really eager and I was attracted to him, so I drove 2 hours to get there when I didn't really have any other business in the area. He takes me to his apartment building and started assaulting my face in the elevator. This guy was seriously the worst kisser ever. Being optimistic that things to go in a better direction, once we got in his apartment I started giving him head and he came after like 2 seconds (yeah I used to be a big slut, I know). Awkward.
We went out for sushi, which I paid for because he "forgot his wallet." During dinner he told me my opinions didn't mean anything then proceeded to talk about other girls and told me we were buds, but that he didn't "like like" me. He then encouraged me to go find something else to do because he needed to study for finals. I dropped him off at the study hall and started driving home when I realized I had left my Ray Bans in his apartment. Texted him and he responded right away to swing by. Even though I had dropped him off elsewhere to "study" like 15 minutes prior he was already back at his apartment.
That was the biggest waste of 5 hours of my life.
67/200
This is why my Dad always handed me fifty bucks and made sure I had my emergency credit card. When I left for a date as a teen. He always said if he doesn't pay for the date, open doors, and pull out chairs. He is a punk azz loser and I know where to bury him.
Haha. These are great.
This is mine. Well, one of them, anyway.
So my friend introduces me to this friend of hers who is pretty hot and also a teacher. She did not preface me as you would ordinarily preface a friend, though. She told him that I have really big boobs and love sex. So of course the guy is like, "Score!"
Knowing what type of relationship this has already sort of been pre-established as, I wind up making out with him in the parking lot the night we met and we made plans to meet up on Friday for a date.
Friday rolls around and he calls me to say that he stayed home sick from work, but would I like to come over and order pizza in?
I say yes.
Naturally we wind up eating pizza, playing darts, and having crazy, crazy sex all night.
I fully expected to not hear from him for a few days, but he called me later that day and wanted to hang out, so I invited to come out with me and my friends. He showed up after already indulging in several beers and proceeded to down FIVE double Captain and Cokes... and a shot of Jager...
I decided it was time to leave when he BARKED ("Woof!!") at the waitress.
This should have been my cue that things were going south, but there was no way I was letting him get behind a wheel (and plus he was not entirely bad at sex) so we went back to my place.
Things got even more entertaining when he attempted to stroll buck naked into the hallway where my roommate was with her friends (instead of into my bathroom) and only after I yelled and flung myself at him to get his attention did he finally stumble into the bathroom.
He was in there awhile and eventually emerged wearing my hot pink bathrobe, which he insisted on sleeping in.
In the morning he was like, "Uh... why am I in your robe?" I was all, "Dude. You're going to have to ask yourself that question."
I later found out from my friends that at the restaurant he suggested a GANG BANG with me to two of my guy friends... and made a V with his fingers and wiggled his tongue in it when we left. My friend was like, "Should we be letting Underwater LEAVE with this guy??"
Haa. He was a real prince.
I met this guy out at a bar the summer I graduated from college. He was short, Italian, loaded and a car salesmen. Basically a walking red flag. We agreed to go out on a Friday night. He picks me up at work in his red Corvette (ew) and says, "Instead of going out to eat dinner, I want to take you to my hot tub." I'm like "Um, I don't have a bathing suit." He says, "Let's go to the mall and I'll buy one for you." So, we drive to the mall. I should mention that he didn't drive under 70 miles an hour the entire time. And he kept doing this thing where he'd take my hand left hand and put it behind the back of his head while he drove. You know, like I was his woman or something. We go to the mall and he chooses 5 of the tackiest bikinis on the planet..all w/ ruffles. (Even at 21 I didn't wear bikinis.) Then he had me try them on for him. Then he'd try to assualt me in the dressing room until one of the sales ladies gave us the side-eye and I think was about to call security. He bought me this neon green bikini. So then we drive back to his apartment and at one point over the bridge he was going 100 miles an hour and I yelled at him to "STOP or I'm getting out of the #)$# car!!!" to which he just laughed. We get to his apartment and he parades me in front of his 3 meathead roommates and tries to pin me on his bed. So, after I leave the apartment I agree to sit in the hot tub for 10 mintues and then I made him take me back to my car. OMG. I ran into him after that all the time and he called and called me. Finally I moved to DC and he stopped calling. All I can say in my defense was, "I was only 21."
I have also had a couple dates where the guys showed up completely dirty and unshowered and stinking to high heaven. WTF?
I also had a date with a guy that ended up at my apartment. We made out on my sofa and he sucked on my toes for about 30 minutes. Then we drank wine and took turns singing Fleetwood Mac songs to each other. It was kind of awesome.
Come to think of it, I had a string of dates w/ different guys in 2000 that all involved them sucking on my toes. It's not something I find at all appealing. And I have Barney Rubble feet. My size 10 Wide feet are not attractive, trust me.
Anyway, fast forward a few months and he flew into town and we agreed to meet up and hang out. Actually, I think I invited him to stay at my place for the night. (I can't remember the details...this 1998) OMG, what a nightmare. This guy turned out to be the biggest douche ever. He was dull, stupid and full of himself. To get over my mistery, we went out and drank. A lot. Then we went bowling and drank some more. I was able to keep it together...I'm no sloppy drunk...but this guy was a disaster. We were walking down the street and he would run up to people out of nowhere and scream, "AAAARRRGHHH! I'm just kidding....can I have a bear-hug?" to complete strangers. Then I'd have to apologize to these startled people. He was just loud and obnoxious and mortifying. Finally I got him home and he tried to make out w/ me and I managed to get him to pass out. The next morning I pretty much had him packed up. I took him to the airport and left him there at like noon. (His flight wasn't until 5)
OMG, a real life Elaine and Eddie.