Sex & Romance
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ok so i don't know what to do now it just makes me up set but happy!
ok so this is going to sound weird but my Fiance and i were talking the other night and i am on Bc and i Told him that i don't want us using Condoms when we get married and he said he wants to because he does not want us to get pregnant and I agree. but i am on bc and i don't want to use condoms!
so I'm upset about it and need i remind you we are Both Virgins. so i dunno what do you think?
Re: ok so i don't know what to do now it just makes me up set but happy!
Oh lordie! It always confuses me when people who are old enough to be getting married don't know simple logistics of birth control. So thank you for the virgin reminder (I didn't know that) that explains it.
If you are taking the bcp how you are suppose to, every day, same time of day, there is no reason for you to use a condom also to prevent pregnancy. As I imagine you know...the only sure way to not get pregnant is to not have sex. Condoms break, stuff happens, what ever. Unless, you are crazy fertile. If you take the bcp correctly. You won't get pregnant. Or at least not 99.7% of the time.
Wow - I can't imagine being married and having no idea what it's like to not use a condom! It is totally different. Skin on skin. Especially for the guy, they can feel the warmth and moisture! I have an IUD now but I was on bcp's for almost 14 years and never got pregnant. The only people I know that have got preggers on bcp didn't take it consistently.
Ugh...forums are trying to eat my post, methinks...
So here's my .02:
First: You say you are both virgins - what's the major holdup on condoms? I'm all for being safe, and we all know that no method of BC is 100% failsafe.
Second: There are some really great condoms out there now, you'd hardly even notice them (I promise!). If you've never experienced them, don't knock 'em just yet. Make it a fun game to find out which one you both like. You can buy samples of many kinds online without having to buy full boxes. And hey, that's a surefire way to get tons and tons of nookie, right?
oh Yeah i should do that lol.that would be weird to do that though i don't thik i could do that lol.it's Just i'm Like Hello I don't want Us to lose Our Virginity with you Wearing a freaken Condom lol.
My primary doctor and my gyno were fine with giving me an IUD without having children first. But, I could see a really young age being a factor in the decision (I am 29). It is each doctors preference to wether or not they will insert an IUD b4 having kids. Side note: The insertion hurt like hell!
I agree... I wouldn't want my first time with my HUSBAND to be with a condom.
How long have you been on the pill? 3 months on is a playing it in a safe timeline to be sure you will not get preggers!
I have been on it for 4 months! and we are geting married in March!
but i am also not even in my 20's yet so the obgy def won't let me get a IUD.
it's mkaes us both upset when we talk about it so it's kinda hard we are both Ver hard headed to so that def soes not help.you see what i mean this is hard?
Just something else to think about:
IUD's aren't even 100% pregnancy-proof. I have one myself, and I've done more research on them than I probably ever needed to. You're really not in a different boat with an IUD than you are with a pill (taken correctly). You still have a chance of getting pregnant.
I can understand the choice not to wear a condom your first time. However, if you're that concerned about the chance of getting pregnant you two are going to have to talk this through at some point and reach a decision together.
Side note: please use spellcheck/etc before posting. I promise I'm not trying to sound snarky, but it's harder than hell sometimes to give advice when you can hardly read the post.
Honestly, if it's going to be your first time you probably won't even notice the condom, it won't exactly be the thing on your mind
And if anyone is going to notice a difference it will be him, and hey, hey's the one insisting on it right? My first time we used a condom, no prob. We still use condoms as our only form of BC. It's not so bad, really 
~Fitness Blog~
How old are you and your FI?
Maybe he wants to use a condom b/c he doesn't want to get blood on his penis since it is your first time. Honestly- you won't notice the condom your first time for a couple of reasons. And think, you don't have anything to compare it to b/c you never had it without.
Maybe you can compromise... Stay on the pill and have him pull out.
I can see him being freaked about getting bled on but not everyone bleeds their first time. I didn't!
Stay on the pill and have him pull out. - Ditto
I'm kind of laughing to myself thinking that after he does have sex with you without a condom, he may never want to use a condom again. haha
All this fit throwing about a condom with his WIFE who's on the pill!
You won't know the difference with or without the condom. If he is a virgin and he doesn't use a condom, he will get off in .3 seconds. Also, sex is way messier than you think. A condom keeps things less messy.
I married my first and never really thought the condom made any difference to my 1st time.
If the tables were turned and she wanted her husband to wear a condom and he didn't want to wear one, we'd be calling him a jerk.
This is a nervous time for him too. He wants to wear a condom. Seriously, get over yourself on this. This is no. 98754621 why I get irritated at the virgin bride posts. This concept of "the first time" sex just gets exhalted to this absolutely absurd height. He will be your husband and you will be his wife, and that relationship and bond between you two will be FAR more important than whether or not he has a latex sheath 1mm thick on his penis. Heavens to pete.
Relax. If this is the worst that comes to your marriage you're lucky.
Haha. That's hilarious. 3 seconds his first time is so true. Maybe you should double wrap it to extend the experience.
Sex is messy and that's how I like it!
I will be 18 when we get Married and he is 21....
and lol he will get off in 3 seconds lol to funny
For the love of pete please don't get married at 18...
And I don't want to read a single poster commend this woman for waiting, since all she apparently had to do was wait through high school.....hardly a wait at all.
When your number is as low as yours, it speaks volumes honey.
And let me guess. You're really mature for your age. I mean, all your teachers say so.
Darlin, the condom doesn't matter.
If your FH wants to wear one to make him comfortable, you have no right to say that he can't.
Also, it's not like your first time is going to be good sex anyway.
Listem chica - your too young to get married, but if you insist on this then you have no right to tell him he can't wear a condom if that is what makes him comfortable. But the two of you need to talk about this beforehand and reach a happy medium.
DH and I used condoms (even though I was on the pill) when we first started having sex. At some point we both decided there was no point since we were in a monogomous relationship and neither of us had any diseases etc. He pulled out a lot before we got married mostly b/c I work full time and was in grad school and didn't want a child. Now that we're married, we don't worry about it as much (even though I'm still on the pill), UNLESS I was on an antibiotic (which was impact the effectiveness of the pill), or something else happens. We keep condoms around just in case, but rarely use them.
I also recommend pre-maritial counseling...we did it and I always recommend it to everyone. We did ours throught the church.
Talk it out and see what works for you...just please don't come crying back here in a few months when you realize your not sexually compatible. Listen, I'm all about waiting for marriage, but when I met my now DH I knew we were going down that road and I needed to make sure everything worked. I didn't want to be getting divorced b/c of sexual issues.
GL!
I have been on birth control pills/shot for 24 years and didn't get pregnant until I stopped taking them on purpose.
Take them right and it's a slim chance of getting pregnant. Beware of antibiotics though. They can affect the efficacy of pills