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Need advice
Not sure if this is the appropriate forum to post this... I have a situation where I need advice.
A couple of months ago my 22 year old son dropped a big bomb on me and told me his girlfriend of 2 years is pregnant. I was really upset at first. He needs 1 more year of school in order to graduate and the fact that they are yound and not married, it's not a good time. I feel more positive now as they have a plan, he will finish school, and in a couple of years they will get married and get a place of their own. His girlfriend lives at home with her mom and she will stay there for the time being.
I've told everyone in my family but I haven't told my boss and coworkers... I am having a hard time, and it is because some of the girls I work with are catty and like to talk about people. I was young and got pregnant before I got married and I feel like myself and my son might be judged. I also fear people are going to make a big' deal over this... I am a very reserved person who doesn't like to talk about my personal life.
Any suggestions on how I can gracefully work this out?
Thank you!
Re: Need advice
i think this is great advice.. couldnt have said it better.
Oh, and this is coming from someone who got pregnant while planning her wedding, and had to tell my mom, who, at the time, was the Executive Director of the crisis pregnancy program in the area.
#Ironic If she told people with pride that she was going to be a grandma out of wedlock, you can too.
The young lady needs counseling, prenatal health care -- there are walk in clinics if she cannot afford private care -- and counseling where the best possible outcome for the child is made. If she decides to carry the child to term, it's best she put the child up for adoption.
Why do your coworkers and boss need to know? Is it their business? If you don't like to talk about your business, then don't.
Just be supportive of your son and his GF. Offer whatever they need in terms of direction towards resources. Guild them when asked for guidance.
How old is the GF? If she is 18 or above, I do not understand so much why you are stressing. However, if she is...that is a whole different ball game.
That aside, it is not for you to decide if it is a good time or not for your son and GF to start a family. Maybe they did not plan to get pregnant, maybe they did, but it is their business, as they are consenting adults.
As far as your co-workers, your personal life is none of their business, and I see no reason why you feel you need to share that information with them. If you are not comfortable sharing your private life at work, there is no reason for you to do so.
Stop worrying about your son being judged. He is a grown man, making his own decisions and will be just fine. Be supportive and encouraging to both of them, and help them out as you see fit.
WTF?
I agree with this. Why in the world would you volunteer this information? It's your son's news to give.
I wouldn't HIDE anything, and sooner or later you might want to tell them "I'm a grandma!" but really the pregnancy I would not share with them.
And I also agree that if you say it in a positive way, it will be taken that way. Your son sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders, he's finishing school, and both your son and his gf have family support, which is so important.
This. It's not about you.
A baby is always a miraculous event even when the circumstances around his/her conception are just human behavior.
It's clear that you care about your son, his GF and their little child. You seem to already be off to a good supportive, loving start with this situation and the baby will be blessed by knowing you.
I also agree with PPs that unless the need arises to tell people, you don't have to if you feel uncomfortable with it. But if you want to share - just tell people how excited you are or how wonderful it is that there will be a new life in your world. Baby excitement is contagious no matter how the baby came into existence (in marriage or not).
Congrats Grandma!
Everyone,
Thank you so much for your advice and kind support. I truly am excited about this, but a little nervous too. If my son at least finished school and had a full time job, I'd feel a little better about it. Babies are expensive! We are certainly supportive of both of them and I have no doubt they will work this out and be wonderful parents
Why exactly do you feel that your boss and co-workers even need to know about this?
This is your PERSONAL life and not related to your work at all.
Don't bother with this- ALL of her comments on any topics are judgmental and so far off the topic that you have to wonder if she can even comprehend what is written