Need advice for a friend

Reilly626

Today at lunch my gay friend Joe asked me what I thought and I really don't know enough about it to answer him. I told him to ask his doctor, but here is what he asked- he met a guy this weekend who took him out for dinner and during the date the guy said he wanted to be open because he liked him and said that he had herpes from his ex who had cheated. He has never had an outburst but he wanted Joe to know. Joe thanks him for his honesty but doesn't want to go further for fear of getting herpes. Is there anyway to protect oneself? The guy was disappointed and said even Joe could have it- how would he know already from someone else. I don't know enough about it to offer advice. Anyone out there know more about it?

tabithawoolf

There is no real way to protect from it. There is also no cure for it. Even if he uses protection, he can still catch it whether the guy has an outburst or not.  A girl i used to be friends with has genital herpes and she ended up sleeping with a good friend of mine. I warned him to go to the doctor and he found out he had it. She has slept with numerous people without mentioning it because she knows no guy will want her if they know she has it. If they really want to try to make it work, they could possibly try to be together without sex...even oral. But unfortunately, he can always catch it whether the guy has an outbreak or not so its really his decision if he wants to risk it.

DaringMiss

Kudos to the guy for disclosing early.  I hope your friend was nice to him and thanked him for his honesty.

If the man has never had an outbreak, how does he know that he has herpes?  Was a blood test done?  On that note, has your gay friend ever had a blood test for herpes?  Perhaps he has already been exposed.

 

bunnyfriend5

I'm not sure what I would do if I was your friend, but I just wanted to say its not like the pictures they showed in health class. I knew one person who had herpes that actually said it wasn't a big deal.She told me she would only get a really small outbreak once every couple years that was over in a few days. She said she would rather have herpes than a yeast infection.

I think its like could sores, where most people have the virus but for some reason only a small group of people have really bad reactions and most either have really small reactions or non at all. I would be scared that if this guy has one STD he could have others though. 

cl30092

Make sure he finds out what type of herpes it is. There are several types, the main ones being Type 1 (also known as Herpes Simplex Virus), which is the common cold sore that 98% of the world population has, and Type 2, which is genital herpes. ALL herpes viruses are STD's, and can be spread by kissing/contacting the affected site during an outbreak. HOWEVER, Herpes Simplex virus CAN affect different people in different places. For most people, Type 1 presents itself on the lip(s)/mouth, but it is possible to break out anywhere. I personally have been tested and have Herpes Simplex Virus (Type 1), just like 98% of the world population. HOWEVER, it affects me differently and it occurs on my genitals, even though it is the simplex virus, which usually only presents on the mouth/lips. Out of the 98% of people that have the herpes simplex virus, up to 15% of those same people have reactions to the herpes simplex virus that does NOT occur on the mouth/lips, and occurs elsewhere instead (usually the genitals, but as previously stated, it can occur anywhere on the body). It is the EXACT same virus as the common mouth cold sore, it just affects me in a different way. I NEVER get cold sores on my mouth. I was diagnosed when I was 10 (LONG before I was ever sexually active, and there was a HUGE investigation to make sure I hadn't been molested/raped) and the test results came back as the common virus, not the STD strain (Type 2, which ONLY occurs on the genitals, as far as I know). I am 21 now and I believe I have only had 3-4 outbreaks in my life. It typically lasts less than a week. If I do get an outbreak, I simply go to the doctor and they give me these white pills (not sure of the name, but I believe its some type of antibiotic, as I have to continue taking them until they are gone), and it is cleared up by the second day of taking the pills. A minor inconvenience, and my fiance' and I have been together 2 1/2 years, I told him about it before we were ever intimate, he is totally fine with it, and my last outbreak was when I was 15.