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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
1 year girlfriend over wife?
Hi Everyone!I'm a newlywed who just got married a month ago!!! I need to ask and see if the way I'm acting is reasonable.I worked two jobs to pay for my wedding to be able to have the wedding of my dreams along my my hubby who worked just as hard as well.The day of the wedding at the reception I realized something was wrong because my dad and my husband were discussing and telling each other today is not the day.When I had asked, he had told me it was for another day but I could tell from where I was sitting that his family was not happy.I came to find out that they were upset because of the sitting arrangement that was given. I had his mother with her children and his aunts and grandparents at the same table and I wasn't able to accommodate the girlfriends.So I figured hey all the boyfriends and girlfriends can sit together at the table next to them.Turns out that his brother's girlfriend didn't like the arrangement and told his aunt. Who told my mom that if she doesn't sit at the table then they all leave!!!!!!Because of this girl his entire family almost left and since my mom said it was ok for them to stay they took MY CHAIR from the sweetheart table!!! By the end of the night, his mom was the only one to have said Congratulations to me at the wedding whereas everyone else at that table didn't even look my way! During this past month, we have been invited to family events where I refuse to go because I feel like his family made a statement in accommodating the girlfriend of 1 year instead of respecting the seating chart and giving me my place as his wife. I dated my hubby for 8 years before we decided to tie the knot and I thought his aunts, family and I were close but they proved me wrong on the day of the weddingThank you for reading! Just needed to vent! (finally)
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Re: 1 year girlfriend over wife?
It sounds like the girlfriend caused a lot of drama, and whether the aunts/parents did it to stop the craziness or what they didn't react the best way. Honestly though I'd give them a second chance here. Weddings are high stress and it doesn't sound like you've had this type of thing happen with anyone of them before. If it bothers you I'd talk to the girlfriend or the cousin she was dating but for the most part I'd want to leave this drama behind me if I could and move past it. If anyone mistreats you again I'd call them on it but let this one go (even though I completely get why you'd be angry).
I'm so confused. If I'm getting it right, it sounds like people are angry over the seating arrangements of the wedding that was a month ago? I hope this doesn't sound rude, but please for your own sake just let it go. I know it can be difficult, but maybe she didn't realize she took your chair?
Idk...I agree with PP, though, that weddings are high stress. Just let it go and enjoy being married.
my read shelf:
This is why you let people pick their own seats.
I am also confused if you separated people from their significant others. Why let them bring a date if they aren't going to be able to spend time with them?
You guys should come over here -
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ml
We'd love to talk to you!
Your wedding day is over. Get over it.
It was unfortunate and probably super annoying.
But really, what are you going to do? How long are you going to hold this grudge? Until you find a DeLorean to take you back into time? Enjoy your new life with your husband and move on.
This.
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
I read this and was furious. It was your day, not hers. Would you have changed your escort arrangement if she didn't like who her man was escorting down the aisle? (that may not even be the case, but it could have been.) She made a big stink about that for her own selfish wants, notice I didn't say needs. If she wanted to leave, she should have. She didn't deserve to be a guest there anyways. You worked two jobs to pay for the food she wasn't even gonna eat, you paid for the venue she sat in, and worked not one but TWO jobs for it. Your sweat and stress went into that day. I feel like you can avoid that side of the family until they ask why. When they do, explain calmly how rude and unacceptable that was of her.
If you don't make some kind of stand for yourself. It'll happen every time you go to a family function. When something goes wrong, that side will rush to pin the stress on someone else for a quick fix. Oh it's ok, steal her chair. Oh it's ok, send her to the store. Oh it's ok, she won't mind paying for it all. That she will probably end of being you.
I think people are being a little harsh in their responses to you... I read your story and my jaw dropped. I would be FURIOUS as well. Who cares if you sit men at one table and women at another... it's because that's the feel you wanted for YOUR wedding. Not theirs!
That being said, it may be a good idea just to let it go and try to "start fresh" for your own sanity. Otherwise, I have a feeling you will end up very unhappy with them for a while... possibly forever...
I have had to let a LOT of things go with my FI's parents... At first, it almost caused problems between US and when I saw that I decided to start letting things go. To tell you the truth, I'm a lot happier because of it! Might be worth a shot, but I think you are completely justified in thinking the way you do. It was your wedding, your show, your rules... whether the guests like it or not! I'm sure they still ate your food and drank your drinks... You know what I mean?
What are you, 5?
Grow up.
Also, punctuation is your friend.
The table only allowed for 10 people and my mother in law wanted to sit with her kids and her parents which didn't allow room for any of the girlfriends at the same table which is why they were seated at the table next to them.
Yes! I know exactly what you mean.... I've started to let it go but it was hard at first especially since this is supposed to be family. I don't really talk to the girlfriend but it like it was only her... I already dealt with it and got it off my chest with my mother in law
I just take it a day at a time 