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My husband has no friends
While my husband and I were dating i was under the impression that he had a really good social life.. I met people whom i thought were friends...but then i realized they were friends of his best friend. For years he would hang out with this band, that he would often perform with... I thought that those people were his friends. But i have now learned that he was never really invited to hang out, he kind of just tagging along with these people. Or was contacted when it was to their convinience. I had a really big red flag when he did not have a bachelor party...
My husband is not a loner. He wants to hang out and do things but he literally has no one to do things with. Its frustrating and simply sad. I often stay home from hanging out because I do not want to leave him alone.
He recently changed jobs and has alot more in common with his co-workers..he has gone to a few happy hours which is big deal. But he hasnt formed relationships where he can actually hang with these people outside of work.
Does any one have the same issue?
Re: My husband has no friends
Well IME with my H has became fabulous friends with my guy friends. In fact he's probably better friends with them than I am at this point.
So can your H buddy up with your guy friends? If not he should look into volunteering or meetup.com. Or if you belong to a church, men's Bible study or volunteering there are other ways to meet people.
If you are looking for more feedback, you could come to the new improved ML...
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ml
Maybe he needs to take up some activities that involve others.
Gym? Volunteering? Church or other community group? HIking Club?
I guess the question is: Does HE want to have friends to hang out with or do YOU want him to? Maybe he just prefers to be with you.
I have the same issue. I am very shy and it is always a little painful for me to talk to other people, especially guys. I grew up with two big sisters, so I have always found women easier to talk to, but it doesn't feel right to hang out with them. I have a few lifelong friends from childhood and college, but only one of them lives in town. If I wasn't married, I probably wouldn't have much of a social life at all.
No advice here, just empathy.
I guess my question is "How is this a wrong thing?" Is HE particularly unhappy with his life? Or are you unhappy with it?
And if so (to either question), what is it specifically that is wrong?
DH only has one or two really good friends, and they both live hours away, so he doesn't go out much either. But he's kind of a homebody anyway, so he's okay with it.
If it's bothering him, I would try to get him to join some things. Volunteer somewhere maybe?
And I still go out with my friends sometimes without DH and I don't feel bad about it. You need time apart, you know?
ETA: And you say he's gone to some happy hours, but not really formed any relationships with people outside of work--well, the way to form those relationships is to ask them to do something! Play a game of basketball, go camping, or whatever they like to do. The worst thing that can happen is they can say "no".
Yea my husband is really shy.... he says that he is a "lone wolf". I just want him to be happy. And although this might seem like a small problem..it really is not. It has lead to him being defensive and insecure... being extra sensitive if we are not invited to events. Although he does not mention it, I feel like their is even some type of jelousy towards my sister and their husbands. My sister's husbands are the typical jock/frat boys and are always having partys and friends to visit.
He can do the calling. Phones are amazing in that they also call people, not just receive calls.