Sex & Romance
bubbles4444
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need more play
Hello! I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions or had this problem. My husband just doesnt have any interest in foreplay. He will literally just go to business. This ends up really hurting and isnt too enjoyable for me. Ive tried telling him, but still he will maybe do it for a few minutes and move right into business. Not only does this hurt, but then I end up not feeling like im just an object. Does anyone have this issue, or have any suggestions on how to get him to slow down? He means well, I think he just gets so into it.
Re: Need more play
Sequester your H for a talk about this topic and do it outside the bedroom --- sit him down and put a positive spin on it. "Honey, you're red hot and I love sex with you --- I think it would be great if we had more foreplay."
This isn't a porn flick or a porno novel. Women need foreplay and lots of it.
You can slow the action down yourself, also.
For some reason, guys need to hear the same thing 10x before they get it, especially when it has to do with sex. Even though you'll probably feel like a broken record, he'll act like he's never heard it before. So tell him over and over again.
Would he be agreeable to giving you a massage? It'll give him something else to focus on besides 'business'
I think the previous poster might be taking this a little far. I honestly don't think men realize that we don't have any fun without being ready first. I've found the best thing to do is to show DH. You could try what I did:
Tell your husband that you'll make him a deal - you'll try a new position/lingerie/whatever constitutes a little treat if he listens very carefully and does exactly what you say. My husband thought this was fun, so maybe yours will too. Then, just tell him exactly what you want, and don't let him do anything until you're good and ready. Then, when it's amazing, tell him that the foreplay really did it for you, and wasn't it fun? Then you can make a game out of it. Now, my husband likes more foreplay than I do.
What, by pointing out that continuing to have sex with someone that is causing them pain is rape? Because it is. It is sad but true that some men rape their wives. I didn't say OP's husband is definitely doing so, because I don't know all the details.
You are so far off. Yes, husbands rape wives. But jumping from not enough foreplay to he's raping you is a rather huge leap. She said she's told him she wants more foreplay and he goes with it for a few minutes and then gets to business. She didn't say he screws her while she's telling him not to. And saying anything without "enthusiastic consent" is rape is just not true. What exactly does "enthusiastic consent" mean? Does she just have to not say no or does she have to set off sparklers and sing a song directing him to mount her? Rape is a huge accusation and it shouldn't be thrown around lightly.
Instead of talking about it, why don't you show him? Do a role playing, tie him up or what ever makes you most comfortable and SHOW him what you need. The next time left him start, and when he's finished with foreplay (but you're not), then you stop him, take matters in your own hands and resume only when you're ready. Finally, his and hers ky can really help a gal get ready.
Guys like foreplay... you just might need to find a way to show him what he's missing out on... tease him! Hopefully this article will help: http://www.relatespace.com/2011/10/05/do-guys-like-foreplay
I'd also suggest trying to get him to read the article below so maybe he'll better understand your needs. Of course continuing to talk about your needs is important too. http://www.relatespace.com/2011/11/29/penises-vs-vaginas