Need help getting through this

slevesquemut

Hello ladies, first visit to this board, and having a really rough time.  I told H about a week ago that I wanted out, and it's been a roller coaster ride of emotions.  I'm struggling with knowing that I've been in an abusive relationship, but it's so hard to walk away.  I have a great support system, but I'm still feeling ugly and unloved right now.  I'm not trying to sound like a total mope, this is just the hardest thing I've ever done.  Is this normal, does it ever get easier?

TarponMonoxide

Breaking up is never easy, even if the guy is a scum. Or even if the relationship has simply worn out its welcome and you both know it is time to say goodbye.

What you should do:

See an attorney, get your financial ducks in a row, do whatever it is you need to do legally and then file. Just go --- make a clean break of it. GL.

RenoisPrettierThanYou

....also, you may perhaps want to get in with a domestic violence support group, perhaps your local DV shelter has info -- this type of trauma, be it physical, emotional, or verbal, can play with your emotions during such a difficult time.

FreeSpirit666

I agree with the others, go to a shelter & some therapy. It may seem that every hour is dragging but the sooner you cut the douche loose, the sooner you'll be better, trust me. Oh, go but this book

 

http://www.amazon.ca/Used-Miss-Him-But-Aim-Improving/dp/1593370113

 

This book helped me out soo much when things went south, it can help others, i KNOW IT!!!

catmiss9

TarponMonoxide:

Breaking up is never easy, even if the guy is a scum. Or even if the relationship has simply worn out its welcome and you both know it is time to say goodbye.

What you should do:

See an attorney, get your financial ducks in a row, do whatever it is you need to do legally and then file. Just go --- make a clean break of it. GL.

All of this. But also, be kind to yourself. Take yourself out for walks and fresh air, get sleep, eat well, indulge in a good book and soak in the tub. Spend time with friends and family. I know all this sounds cliche, but really, take care of yourself and take some time before getting involved with anyone new.

Talynted

Oh, honey... It does get easier. He thinks you're beautiful but because he has low self esteem and can't stand the thought of losing you, has tried to harm and scare you into staying. Baby girl, I am sure that you are lovely and you are worth the miracle of life that you are living. You should ask your support group if there's a number you can call when you're feeling not-so-confident. Or call a safe friend. Do you have children? You need to get out now so he can't harm you (and kids?) further. You will find someone worthy of your love and affection who will respect you, your feelings and your body. My best friend dealt with this about a year ago and it breaks my heart. She's one of the prettiest girls I know (both inside and out) . "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is a great message, but don't be silly enough to keep placing yourself in danger until he hurts you beyond repair. FLYlady.net teaching - FLY means Finally Loving Yourself. Get out now, Slevesquemut. Another great message, "a leopard never changes it's spots". If he's thought so low of you to raise a hand in anger to you before, what's going to stop him in the future? A promise is just words. Actions are entirely different. "Actions speak louder than words". Good luck to you.