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Honeymoon is over already?!?!
My husband and I got married a little over a month ago. We got back from our honeymoon 3 weeks ago. The wedding and honeymoon were perfect. We had a great time and were both so happy.
But when we returned, it was like a switch flipped. We have been fighting everyday and I have tried everything I can think of and being as nice as I can be but he still comes home at the end of the day in an awful mood. He has been saying really mean things towards me lately and doesn't even want to spend time with me. I feel like he resents me for something but he says there is nothing. When I try talking to him about it there is a new silly excuse for the day.
This is not typical in our relationship. Usually if we argue, its over before it even began and we are back to being ourselves. Bickering is normal for us but not fighting.
So far people have mentioned that he seems stressed because he doesn't have a set full-time job right now and we just moved into our house so he has been stressing himself out about house things. It'd hard for me to cope with this because I have just as much stress and pressures but I am trying to enjoy each day at a time, and I can't get him to see it the same way. Lately he is pushing to get house renovations (minor things) done but there should be no rush for it?!
I need help with finding a way to make him see that he is stressing out too much and it is ultimately bringing me to a breaking point. It makes me so sad to think about how happy we just were and now we can't even talk civilly without him being mean or walking away.
HELP! Any advice... maybe there is something I am missing?!
Re: Honeymoon is over already?!?!
Thanks for the advice! We have had a lot of company with moving, memorial day, and we have a friend living with us now (as a favor since his house is being worked on) so it has been difficult to find time to breathe. Maybe trying to talk one more time tonight will do the trick now that company is gone.
I was starting to feel hopeless .. that it was just us.
You know, that sounds exactly like my situation a couple months ago. He was cranky, short with me, annoyed with the kids, and just overall a grump to be around. This broke my heart, as we have always been playful, touchy, lovey and great to each other. One day i brought it up, which only made him mad. He blamed it on work, but then he got the job he wanted and the salary he desired and the grouchy behavior continued.
I knew my loving, and in my eyes "perfect" husband wasn't seeing how much he was actually hurting me, and he didn't think it was as big a deal as I was making it out to be. So finally one day, I decided to be blunt with him. I told him "you're wife of only 8 months is not happy. You've already become someone different than the man I married such a short time ago. The way you were in the beginning when you wanted to 'get me' is the way you need to stay throughout our life together in order to 'keep me'."
Maybe this approach wouldn't work for everyone, but for my H, it was like hearing the words "you're wife is unhappy" was a punch in the gut because he has been the same old wonderful man he was 2 years ago when we met. I find that remembering women's minds are much more complex than the mans has been very helpful in expressing my problems and issues with him. For me, just shooting him straight, in a very loving tone, has worked best! Hope this helps! I may be a newbie, but I've seen a lot of failed marriages in my family and friends and i feel like by now, I could write a book on what NOT to do hahaha! Best of luck to you..
IMO this is NOT a healthy attitude for the long-term.
Life changes, and there is NO WAY that your life will always be the same as when you met OR that your DH will always act the way he did in the beginning of the relationship...just like you won't either!
And why would you- the entire point of marriage is to grow and change together!
I totally agree. That type of attitude might have worked this time, but in the long run it probably won't