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Hiding my left hand...
This is the strangest problem...but here goes...
While my MIL and I were discussing plans for the upcoming wedding of a friend of my DH and BIL, she informed me I shouldn't wear my ring to the wedding as it would be an insult to the bride (whom I've never met). Her reasoning of this (insane) request was that she didn't want anyone to think that I was trying to be "a showboat"...umm...okay...
So you all have an idea of what this evidently embarassing bauble looks like-it's a Asscher cut diamond in platinum with pear side stones and baguettes along the band. The center stone alone is 2.5 carats. It's a gorgeous ring and means a lot to me...the center stone was purchased new, along with the setting, but the other stones are all from family pieces that were given with the intention of being used for my ring. (The pear stones were my grandmother's earrings originally) It's truly the most sentimental material item I've ever owned.
The couple comes from two well-to-do families and I'm sure she's got a beautiful ring. I just feel like it is the most rediculous thing to ask a person to do, though...am I being mean spirited about it? She even offered to buy me a fake! What the heck? Those things are usually HUGE!!
Re: Hiding my left hand...
I would say, "I'm sorry, I'm not taking my ring off for anyone, but I have no intention of being a showboat about it...what have I done to give you that impression"
Always ask a question! Puts them in the hot seat
I would ignore her and move on. This is one of those "tests". If you make a big deal of her request, you start the MIL/DIL tension over a silly thing. If you acquiess, you create a precident you do not want to follow.
So you smile, decide on the stock phrase you are going to use for the rest of your relationship "I/we will think that over and make a decision later", and do what YOU and YOUR DH (if it is something he is actually affected by) and move on.
MY MIL is/was the queen of silly commentary/requests and passive-agressive actions. I figured it out early on. I would either say the above comment (but never DID what she wanted unless it was really and truly the right thing for DH and I) or if it was a P/A one, "Now why would you say something like that". Then I would politely change the subject and/or politely excuse myself.
I saved my "spine" for the more serious actions. I only complained to DH when it was really necessary and that is why he ALWAYS has my back.
Wear whatever you want. She's jealousE of your ring.
Your MIL's request is completely ridiculous but you already know that, as you stated it several times. so ridiculous, in fact, that it doesn't deserve any attention but you already know that, too. And yet, you still posted about it, with a detailed description of your ring. If this post were truly about the silliness of your MIL's suggestion, then it wouldn't really matter how many carats the ring is. The suggestion would be equally ridiculous for a 1 carat or a 5 carat ring, no description necessary.
The fact that you posted about this at all, while knowing full well how dumb your MIL's suggestion would come across, makes me think you just wanted to share the fabulosity of your ring under the guise of a MIL problem.
I think your MIL has got your number.
THIS!
I disagree with anyone saying you are (even alittle) AW about your ring. Because it is so over-and-above absurd to remove your jewlery while attending a weddding.
IT IS COMPLETE NONSENSE.
Completely.
Your MIL is insane. Really bad. REALLY.
This. LOL at how you HAD to share a completely *irrelevant* detailed description of your ring.
I thought the EXACT same thing!
Your MIL is trying to belittle your nice ring by making a non-issue out of it. You can say, "I humbly wear my ring to any and all events, and plan to for many years to come."
My mom just wears a simple band to weddings for that reason. She also wears the band other times when her regular ring isn't appropriate. Hers is very large/flashy though.
I wouldn't say that mine is huge, but it isn't small (a little over 2 carat). It is larger than most of my friend's rings - but I wear it anyway and don't ever even give it a second thought.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
The last thing I ever look at are the guests rings at a wedding. Im usually preoccupied with the bride and groom and the wedding itself...and eating.
There should be no issue with you wearing your ring. It really doesn't matter if your ring is 10x the size and cost of the bride's ring, it's your ring and you don't have to take it off. Why would the bride care if you have a great ring? I didn't even use an engagement ring and there were plenty of women at my wedding with beautiful rings. This was not something I would have ever thought to be concerned about.
Agreed. Win.
Buuuuuuuuuuusssstttted .