Relationships
shytown1552
member
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Any advice?
Well my roomate recently moved in with my fiance and I. She is my age and is on some sort of dating spree. I think im jealous of her. My fiance and I have been together for almost 7 years. He is all I really know. Dont get my wrong I love him with all my heart. We are high school sweethearts. We live with each other want to buy a house together have a dog the whole nine yards. Well since my roomate moved in its like a whole new world again. Shes just opened me up to the whole dating game and now im thinking about how much fun it use to be. I feel we are stuck in the same routine every day and I feel bored of us i think. I mentioned to my fiance how i miss dating and asked if he missed it too. He looked at me and said I get the apartment. I was so shocked thats not what I meant at all. I just meant I miss when we were dating and the fun we had. Instead his first thought was breaking up. What does this mean? Are we not ready to tie the knot like i thought we were. Oh and not to mention every time i bring us up he just says of course I want to get married to you. But does he really?? Maybe we are both bored of us. Im so confused any suggestions on any of this i know this is long i just really have no one else to bring this up to with out them telling everyone.
Re: Any advice?
Why is a third person living with you and your FI?
NOT a good idea.
That's only part of the story. It is never a good idea to have other people living with you and your FI.
What I strongly suggest you do:
Put your wedding date on hold until you sort through what's happening here. Perhaps you aren't ready to get married just yet; remember, this is going to be a lifetime commitment to one person and you can't go off and party with the girls like you are still single and free.
Wait about a week or perhaps 2 -- and then have a frank talk with your FI. Make sure you tell him what you told us, including how she's opened you up to the dating ame.
I don't know your ages but I am willing to bet you and he are rather young. This probably has been your one and only boyfriend. Perhaps this relationship is over and has run its course.
Whatever you do, good luck. Remember, this is your life and make sure you are happy with the decision you make.
I agree, I don't think it's good to have a roommate when you are also living with your fiance, especially since roommate is in a different phase in her life of dating. I think you should sit down with your DH and say that it was a mistake to have a roommate, and that a date needs to be decided on when she should move out (like one month from now). You can tell your friend that though you cherish your friendship with her, it'd be more healthy for your relationship with your fiance if you have a place with just him.
Many times a relationship can fall into a routine, and many engaged and married couples continue to plan dates and weekend getaways through the rest of their years together.
And it's definitely a red flag that your fiance so quickly said that you get the apartment, when he thought you were suggesting dating other people (when you were probably trying to say you miss going out on dates with him). You have to figure out his intentions before you go through with the wedding. Was he just kidding? And you should know him well enough by now to know if he was just kidding. But communication is the most important thing - be straight with him and ask him directly. "Hey that time when I mentioned how I miss dating - I meant going out on dates with you, and did not mean that I wanted to date other people. But your response was that 'I get the apartment'. I need to know what your thoughts are behind that comment." If you can't be 100% open and transparent now, you do not have a strong enough of a foundation to build a marriage. And depending on his answer (and your willingness to be completely honest with him), you might want to consider postponing the wedding by a year.
Yes the roommate situation is only very temporary. She is switching jobs from out of state and needs a place to stay for 2 months tops.
The problem with him saying this is I have no idea if he was joking or not I usually always can tell. This time was sooo different. Well going to talk to him today about it. Thanks for you're advice.