Married Life
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how to get him to brush
I didn't realize how infrequently my husband brushes his teeth. I find it disgusting and I have tried to get him to do it more often but nothing seems to work. I've asked, demanded, rationalized the importance of it, made a deal with him, begged, reminded and just let it go for a while. Now I am stuck. I need advice.
Re: how to get him to brush
Refuse sex? Does he floss? Mouth wash? Dentist? Anything?
I have recently heard and read that the mouth, being so dirty and also having gum issues with bleeding, opens the rest of the body up to disease and infection. In fact, I think there have been ties of poor oral hygene to heart disease.
Also, have you determined why he won't? Takes too much time? Doesn't like the feeling? Doesn't like the taste? Hurts his teeth?
Does he go to the dentist at least for his regular check ups? If so I would think they would say something.
otherwise if his breath is bad I wouldn't kiss him until he brushes.
This is such a bizarre problem for an adult to be having.
Lawlz, what?
Put him down.
Oh wait. This isn't the pets board.
Um, you should probably divorce him. That's gross.
Slip a roofie into his dinner. Once he is good and out pull all of his teeth.
That's the only mature way to handle this. Witholding sex is the easy way out.
Fabulous suggestion.
This is a grown man we are talking about, right? Tell him to brush his freaking teeth.
Ew.
Seems like a lot of people have suggested I refuse sex. I haven't been able to try that since we're trying to get pregnant but I will keep it in mind. I have told him his breath stinks and hardly ever kiss him except with lips closed I am the one suffering from lack of kissing--not him.
I haven't asked why he won't brush. I think he's just lazy but I will ask. He does use mouthwash and thinks that's enough. It does kill more germs than brushing so at least some of the oral hygene is being taken care of but trust me, I know it's not enough. I am going to try to get him to the dentist too. He used to go till his retired.
I am glad in a way to know that you all find it disgusting and no one is telling me they have the same problem with their husband--so I know it's really bad.
Thanks for your advice!
I have to post an update. Just after I replied to all of you, I went upstairs and he was brushing (and I have to say, he does a good job when he does it). Maybe he saw my posting (not a chance).
He does actually brush 1, 2 or 3 times a week. (because I had asked, bugged and made a deal) I am not saying that's good, but since he does brush...maybe I just withold something until he does so every day.
Thanks again!
As a dentist, I can't ignore this post. 1, 2, 3x per week is simply not enough. He will need fillings, Root Canals, extractions, and someday probably dentures. That is not sexy- for anyone. He needs to know that this is a no go for you (if it is of course, it is for me). Guys respond well (it seems) to knowing what turns their wives on, does this make you happy or do you find in unhygienic? You need to let him know it's not acceptable in the same way that not wearing deodorant or not shaving is not sexy to him.
Thank you for your reply. I will tell him that a dentist told me all these things will happen if you don't brush 2x a day. I have certainly let him know that it disgusts me and definitely does not turn me on when he doesn't brush. I don't know that I've compared it to me not using deodorant or not shaving but I will do so.