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Confused...this is for you since you deleted...:(
What are your ages?
Perhaps you are both very young --- under 23 would be very young -- and that is playing a big role in what is happening here.
Have you spoken to him at all about this, at length, very very lately?
If not, you need to do so.
Do you want to stay with him, get counseling and work on this with him?
If it's no, perhaps it is time to move on.
Maybe he's immature, or hes immature and very young, or he doesn't get what marriage and a family entailed (this sounds a great deal like my situation; age isn't immune to idiocy and he was in his mid 30s when this was going on with us; we are divorced, btw) maybe it's pressure and strain of marriage; perhaps you have grown apart.
I don't know what's happening here; any or all of the above could be what's happening between you and your H.. This is why you need to talk to him. And let him know what the deal is and how YOU feel about everything.
Whether he is young or much older, he needs to get with the program and pronto. And if he does not want to work on this problem with you, very bad news. You will have to decide where to go from here if he won't and cannot work on this problem with you and work hard to resolve it.
Maybe it is even culture. You said his family is from Germany? Maybe this is a cultural issue that is at hand -- if that's the story, you have another problem on your hands.
Talk to him. And then see what happens after that. Make it known that he has to 100% be involved and work with you on this. GL.
I wish you wouldn't have deleted. Anyway, there is my advice.
Re: Confused...this is for you since you deleted...:(
This is why I am a proponent of giving kids things to do when they are old enough to do them.
Believe it or not, gang, this is how lots of kids were brought up: you cleaned your room, you picked up after yourself, you helped with the laundry, with dinner and kept things neat in general, cut the lawn, you name it...
And usually we got an allowance for doing it.
It was a 2 for one bargain. Win win... you get to have less of a mess and the kiddo learns responsibility, gets to learn to save money and learns to be a relatively neat and clean person.
You are going to have a rough road ahead of you: now he's expected to pitch in? too bad for him --- he will have to. That's part of the bargain of being married and besides, you ain't his mom, as they say.
We don't laugh together, we don't have any fun toghether, it's gotten to the point where we hardly speak
in my experience there is:
someone else he is laughing with
someone else he is having fun with
someone else he is speaking to
Maybe they've already grown apart. It sucks but it happens.
nice....