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Should I just let it slide?
My husband and I had been talking about adopting a pet (or two) before getting married. However, a few weeks before the wedding I found out I was pregnant so I wanted to wait until after the babies were born.
Well, hubby went to work Yesterday, came back home with two kittens and acted like it was no big deal. First of all, we haven't gotten anything done as far as preparing for the babies. We just started planing the nursery and have a handful or two of clothing (my shower is in July, but still...). Second (this is what really bothers me) even if I wasn't pregnant I feel like we should be making that kind of decision together.
Husband doesn't think it's a big deal apparently. I haven't said anything yet because I don't want to get into an argument that isn't worth fighting.
So what does ML say?
Re: Should I just let it slide?
I am the one who falls in love with pets easily, so I would be the one bringing the pet home. If I did so without speaking to H about it first, he would be PISSED, and rightfully so. I would never consider adopting/purchasing a pet without speaking with him and coming to the decision together.
I think you have every right to be really upset about this. Unless you want the kittens.
I know that I don't have the heart to give them back. That's the other reason that I don't want to bring it up. If we're going to keep them, then why bring it up, right? I guess I'm just upset that he didn't talk it over with me before doing it. *sigh*
I don't know enough about kittens to really judge. If he had come home with two puppies I would think he'd lost his mind. Are kittens as difficult to raise as puppies? Don't cats kind of do their own thing? I mean, I would be pissed regardless because committing to a pet is something you need to decide on as a family, but I might be less pissed about cats.
The health of your baby (kittylitter) is one reason for you to bring it up, and do so NOW.
James Sawyer 12.3.10
Leo Richard 9.20.12
I'd be pissed too if my H came home with 2 pets without discussing it with me first. However, I always thought cats were easier to train than dogs (I don't have a lot of experience with that, so I could be wrong), so if you love them I wouldn't stress too much about them being there. Just make sure he's the one changing the litter box since you're pregnant! I think you definitely need to have a discussion about the communication thing though, and come to an understanding that you need to make big decisions like this with him in the future. GL!
ETA
Yes, I think couples need to agree before bringing living creatures into the home. I don't think pets are good surprises or gifts, particularly if you've had an explicit conversation about NOT getting pets right now. I'd be pretty upset.
I'd be more upset that he doesn't see that it's wrong.
So...did you actually discuss that you changed your mind about pets with your husband or did you just decide and expect him to know?
And what about your husbands wishes? If you did discuss it did he say he still wanted to have pets along with the baby?
Do you expect him to just go along with everything you decide even when it totally changes something he had wanted to do?
If it was something he really wanted I don't see why you can't do both....plenty of people have pets and babies and it's not the end of the world
@NewEnglandWifey
What the hell are you talking about? She said she wanted pets AFTER the baby. Further, even if she did want pets, that is still something you talk about before one of you rushes out and buys TWO cats.
"What about your husband's wishes"...SHE'S PREGNANT. He could of waited, and from what I've seen with many couples, pet care falls on the wife. Don't know how it is with them but that was an immature decision on the husband's part.