Family Visiting (kinda long)

Sanderso39

I have been married for a little over two years.  Once married I moved from Ohio to North Carolina and now Kentucky.  My brothers and Mom visited me once (all together) for one night.  My husbands parents visited us for two nights while he was on r&r.  I have been home several times since I have moved.  While living in North Carolina, my parents went to a family reunion in Charlotte and bailed on coming to Fayetteville last minute.  When I explained to them my husband couldn't go more than a certain number of miles away without permission and it wasn't happening because it was last minute, they still didn't come see me in Fayetteville.  My sister got mad because I missed her baby shower and birth of the baby (I booked the flight AFTER her due date to make sure I met my niece).  They all get mad when I mention possibly not coming home for a holiday and they all get mad when I go on vacation instead of spend my money to come home.  Oh btw, last year I had moved to Kentucky and had my husband deploy all within two months of each other and still nobody came to see me until November, when he was almost coming home.  Anyway, how do you all deal with this?  I am at a point now where I don't want to visit home just to make a point, but I miss my family a lot at times.  I recently invited all of my siblings and my in laws for the Fourth of July and nobody said yes.  They thought we would come there.  I understand people are busy but I also have a full time job and still find a way.  I am so sick of trying to make them understand this but maybe I have gone about it the wrong way.  Any advice is appreciated...it's starting to make me really sad

IlovemyAirmanforever

P's family does this, even before we got married. Now that they see we are not going out of our way to please them they are coming around. Maybe you could just turn a cold shoulder for awhile? Do you think that would change their way of thinking?

Sanderso39

I have a really hard time of doing this without making it known that I am doing it, if that makes sense.  I need to just keep my mouth shut for a while and try not to bring it up I guess.  I made a point to say, we can't come home this summer, when I invited them for the Fourth and it didn't seem to matter.  In fact, my MIL's response was, sorry, we leave for NYC the 6th!  So they go other places, just not here.

IlovemyAirmanforever

I completely understand. I find it hard to bite my tongue at times with P's family. They do the same thing, they can go everywhere but to see him. Some people just don't understand that you can't just pick up and go on the drop of the hat, it would be nice but you can't.