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Religion and MIL

My MIL is great.  She's very knowledgeable, friendly, and treats me like a daughter.

My issue is that we have different religious beliefs.  Specifically, she believes in ghosts and spirits.  In several occasions,my husband's had a health issue and instead of getting him medicine she says it is a spirit who's causing this and starts performing a ritual on him.  This upsets me a lot.  My husband and I have had several arguments about it.  I believe that she can do the ritual if she wishes, as long as she gives him medicine first. The ritual won't do good or bad, while the meds are working.  I'm very concerned about when we start having kids if they get sick and she's taking care of them for something similar to happen. 

My husband doesn't entirely share her beliefs, but since she's his mother, he doesn't question her. 

 How do I address this nicely, respecting her  beliefs, but making sure my husband, and future family are well taken care of while they're under her care.

Re: Religion and MIL

  • nettjenettje member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments

    Your MIL is going to believe what she believes. I have an Aunt who is into a similar belief system but she has never put her grandchildren at risk because of it. 

     

    On top of it, your DH is a grown man. He can get his own medicine if he needs it. Or you can get it for him. Just because his mom practices her spirituality, it doesn't mean he can't get the medical treatment himself.

     

    As for future children, let her know that if they need medication while in her care that they are to get it. If they don't, then I guess they won't stay with grandma. 

  • Unless it's a life & death situation, your husband is a grown man and able to take care of his own medical needs.

    Cross the kid bridge when you come to it...If/when you have kids, clearly lay out the expectations related to caring for your child(ren).  If she can't follow the rules, she can't babysit.  Done.

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  • Why in the world is your MIL getting or refusing your husband medication?? What the hell? And if your chdten are sick, you cancel babysitting with grandma and take care of them. If they are in her care, you come home. If she doesn't call when they are sick, then you never use her for babysitting again.
    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • I'm going to assume that you married an adult. If I am correct, he can get his own medicine.

    As for potential future kids, she doesn't babysit them ever. Problems solved! 

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  • Indifferent  How old is your husband?  12? He can get his own medicine, can't he? 
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  • Unless your husband is 12 years old I dont get why his mom is at all involved in his medical care.  That is really strange. 

    Before having children I would strongly recommend you have a conversation with your husband (not your MIL) about this topic.  Set the expecation now, i.e. "I need you to be with me on this, as my husband, as the father of our children..."

    Regarding a coversation with your MIL... cross that bridge if and when you get there, both you and your husband, as a united front.  I never recommend preemptive conversations about potential problems.

    For what it's worth, I've had these thoughts about my MIL too... "What if she does THIS to my children?  What if she says THAT about how I parent?"  It's fu**king exhausting.  Not to mention a huge waste of time.  As long as you can count on your guy to be on your side, you have nothing to fear.  So get that straight, then face problems as they come, head on, together.

    Good luck!

  • imagenettje:

    Your MIL is going to believe what she believes. I have an Aunt who is into a similar belief system but she has never put her grandchildren at risk because of it. 

     

    On top of it, your DH is a grown man. He can get his own medicine if he needs it. Or you can get it for him. Just because his mom practices her spirituality, it doesn't mean he can't get the medical treatment himself.

     

    As for future children, let her know that if they need medication while in her care that they are to get it. If they don't, then I guess they won't stay with grandma. 

     

    Yep.  All of this.

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