Stress

DanniLynn88

So my husband and I have recently gotten married and found a house to rent with a nice size yard for our dogs and an extra bedroom (we've been in a one bedroom for over three years), and a big kitchen. It is in between his dad's house (6 mins away) and my mom's house (15 mins away), and not too much farther than I drive now. Then my mom tells me a week ago she is moving, to FL! We are in NC! UGH!!! I am super close to my mom, I can't imagine having kids without her close and even though we are nowhere near close to having kids we still want my parents close by. They help us when we need it. My dad helps build things we need and help my husband, since hubbys dad is disabled, and my mom helps me cook and is just there! I have never been away from them before. My mom keeps telling me I'm married now and I need to learn to rely on my husband, which I do but I want my mom close. All she tells me is we can move. I know it's not the end of the world, I just feel like whenever I get a break like finding a house to move into with my husband and dogs then something bad happens, like my parents moving away. They will be gone in less than a month. 

sessionswedding

Just try to relax and breathe!  It really won't be that bad.  You'll miss them, sure, but you'll be surprised at how quickly you become self-sufficient.

cbradeis

I thought you knew you didn't want kiddies!   

Regarding your parents moving away, totally suck.  But your Mom does make a good point.  If you're married, you really need to rely on your husband more.  You two, even without children, are your own family unit.  If you're old man isn't around to help build things, and you guys can't, you have to hire someone.  If you like your Mom's cooking, get her recipes.  I know it sounds harsh, but those are the breaks.

Can I ask... is the 88 in your name the year you were born?  Not being mean, just curious because based on the flip-floppiness of your feelings about children, then this.... I wonder if you're young?

DanniLynn88

It is the year I was born. We want kids just not any time soon. Like talking at least maybe 4 years away. I'm used to my parents being there for me when I need something, and vice versa, I watch their dogs when they are away, I help my mom with my dad when he was in the hospital, he has had cancer and a heart attack, and a second scare where he was coming close to having another heart attack. I think part of the scariness for me is if something happens to my dad I'm a plane ride away not just a 15 min car ride. My mom has always been there and it's scary for her not to be. I've been on my own for almost 5 years, but I've been close. I do rely on my husband but there is a lot only my mom and dad can do for me. 

cbradeis

You lose the convenience and security of them being close.  But NC to FL isn't terribly far.  The distance between you guys has no bearing on the love you all share.

The issue with your Dad is scary and upsetting, I get that.  Heaven forbid something happens you can't just be there.  But you have no idea what's going to happen, no one does, so don't stress over things you have no control over.

Definitely Skype and make new family traditions (and stick to them!).  For example, NC and FL both are great destinations... make it a priorty to visit them once every 6 months, and vice versa (do more visits if it's feasible). 

You said "I do rely on my husband but there is a lot only my mom and dad can do for me."  That makes sense, you're relatively young and newly married (really, I'm not being snarky so pls don't take it that way).  Look at this as an opportunity to grow in your marriage and turn to your husband when you need help, advice, support, etc.

Good luck, eventually it will mellow out.