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Introducing the pet side of our family
My husband and I just got married in March. We live pretty far apart and are getting ready to merge our lives into one household next month. I have a cat and so does he. His cat is very skittish and usually runs and hides whenever people show up. I know that, in the past, she hasn't gotten along with my SIL's cat but i don't know if that is her personality or his. I just assumed that, when we got our place together, both of our cats would come with us. But my husband is saying that he is not planning on bringing her with him to the new place b/c she won't get along with my cat.
We have talked several times about it. I am asking that we at least try to see if she will acclimate. I mean, my cat used to hate other cats being around and would get defensive when another was in "her territory" which often included me and my son. She is not like that anymore. She is super mellow and loves to be near really any human who will pet her or play with her or give her treats.
I feel like it's not really asking too much for us to give it a trial run. If, after a month, his cat still hasn't gotten used to us, maybe she can go back to his parents' house where she is an only pet.
What do you think?
Re: Introducing the pet side of our family
My cat hated other cats when she was younger. She was a terror. She had to live with two male cats for a few weeks when I was between apartments, and it wasn't a pleasant first few days that's for sure. But she got used to it. I actually had to get another cat after we left because she was quite lonely. I got her a little male kitten and they've been inseparable since.
It's worth giving it a shot. It won't be fun, and don't expect to get through it without a lot of hissing, scratches, etc. Do it slow. Give them separate space at first. Put one cat in one bedroom, one in another. Then switch them. Switch anything else you can with their smell frequently - beds, towels, etc. Switch litter boxes, too. This will help them get used to the others smell. Then move them somewhere that they can interact under a door, or through a pet gate of some kind. Do all of that for the first week, at least. Make sure each cat has their own "space" to retreat too. Separate food bowls, litter boxes, etc. Don't trap them in one room together - let them get away from each other when they need to.
Good luck!
Edited to add: Please make sure they are both 100% vaccinated, including tested and vaccinated (if recommended by your vet) for Feline Leukemia. It's highly contagious amount cats, and can be transmitted very easily. If your cat has never lived with other cats, you may have never needed to test for it before (our vet didn't recommend testing with our new kitten as he was never going to meet any other cats besides our current house cat).
FF
I agree with everything CS said.
are you and your H moving into a new (for both of you) house? If you are, it'd be easier moving to neutral territory with two cats that are strangers, vs having a new cat in the resident cat's 'territory' ...
if you're not, definitely set up a separate area for the new cat. And definitely give it time. It took my boys a few months to warm up to each other every time there was a new cat thrown in the mix.
Yes, it is a new place for the both of us. I think it's a great idea to separate them initially and switch out fabrics so they can get familiar with each other's scent. I never really considered that. I thought it was more something you could do for dogs!
Both cats are fully vaccinated and both have been routinely checked for feline leukemia even though neither of them have ever been outside cats. I tend to get paranoid about her health so I make sure she has every vaccine available.
Right now, my biggest concern is how much furniture his cat may tear up. My cat is declawed but his isn't and she's too old to have it done now. I can't really see her sitting still and letting us put the fingernail covers on her (I did that when I first got my cat, until she was declawed) Maybe we'll just have all the furniture covered with that scratching post material!!