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Night-time is not always the right time..
So I have an issue that I haven't been able to find an answer to via other discussions or Google.
Most people have problems either with their SO wanting too much or not enough sex. Mine seems to want just as much as I do, and he is generous and fantastic when we do, but he seems to have a very set schedule with it. If it's not bedtime and we're not in the bedroom, it's not on his mind. Before we moved in together, we would have sex whenever wherever.
The problem here is that I have a very busy schedule. By the time 10pm rolls around, I'm usually down for the count and I end up feeling kind of guilty when I know he wanted it. However, there is plenty of time during the evening that could be utilized for sexytimes. But.. it's usually taken up with other things. (TV, ect.)
I've attempted to initiate things without being demanding. I'll kiss his neck, say something suggestive, try to sit in his lap. But it's like that part of his brain just completely doesn't exist outside of the bedroom. Instead, he'll make jokes or blow raspberries on my lips when I'm trying to genuinely kiss him. He'll shift his weight abruptly so I slide off of his lap.
I've tried to talk to him about this gently, without being accusatory. I've said "Sometimes I think you think I'm playing when I'm really trying to be romantic." He apologizes, but it's obvious he's not sure what I'm talking about.
I'm not sure how I can articulate this to him without making him feel attacked. I'm also not sure how much more I can try initiating.. Every time he acts silly when I'm trying to be sexy is kind of a blow to my self esteem.
Re: Night-time is not always the right time..
I say, trick him! Put on sexy lingerie (or your birthday suit) and say "Honey, can you help me with something in the kitchen??" Or basement, bathroom, back deck, whatever!
Also I notice with my guy, there's a difference between being "romantic" and being "so horny I must have you right now." So next time say "Sometimes I think you think I'm playing when I'm really trying to fluck your brains out." Don't mince words, guys don't get it otherwise.
Whether or not this works, you still should have a direct conversation about it beyond "...you think I'm playing when..." Don't beat around the bush, put it out there and see what he has to say. And you don't have to "attack." There is nothing wrong with being honest. Also, soften him up a bit - "Husband, our sex life is fantastic, you are fantastic... but you know what would make it even better? Having sex - insert place and time here."
Not that I'm taking away from your issue, I totally think it's worth addressing, but count your blessings... I can think of worse problems!
Good luck!!