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I'm sure its all been said before...
It is coming up to a year since I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. During my pregnancy sex was pretty much off the table, my husband was not comfortable with it at all. I was ok with it. Before that we had a very healthy sexual relationship.
The problem is we went about 7mths without having sex and then my husband watched a baby come out of my lady parts. Put on top of that me having some body image issues the first 3 months after having my daughter and well our sex life now is pretty vanilla and few and far between rendez-vous. I would say MAYBE we have sex once a week, or once every 2 weeks. I generally initiate it. His excuse is always "We have sex only when you want to." I don't feel like that's necessarily true, I try to accommodate him when it's possible. But we have a baby now and I can't just go for some mid-morning sex while our daughter is sipping her juice and having her breakfast.
Any mother's out there go through a similar experience? Have any suggestions on how to make things better?
Re: I'm sure its all been said before...
Men don't see their wives as a sexual partner anymore; they only see her as the good mother and good wife.
A sex therapist can help. Make an appointment with one asap; the both of you should attend, both together and separately.
Once a week is fine. Twice a week is great, considering you're new parents and you've both real busy with the kiddo.
What you need to do -- and again, I can't stress this enough:
Communicate.
Sit down with him; have a sitter take the kiddo for the afternoon -- and discuss this issue with him. And make sure you tell him that you and he need to see a sex therapist.
This is fixable. GL.
Of course you only have sex when you want to. Does he think you should have it when you DON'T want to? That's called rape. How much effort is he putting into making you WANT it? I think your husband is the one who needs suggestions.
He doesn't try to force himself on me if I say no. We just don't seem to be in the mood at the same times. And when he is in the mood it's usually at really inopportune times, like when our daughter is waking up and ready to start her day. Or when I have my arms elbow deep in dirty dish water scrubbing scummy pots and pans. I would love to be able to just drop what I'm doing and be there for him. But realistically we have responsibilities now, and I can't always stop what I'm doing to have sex. I feel like he hasn't really come to terms with the fact that our spontaneous life has somewhat been put to the side.