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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What would you do if..
You suspected a friend of using drugs? Like, cocaine?
And to add to it, let's assume she is GONE. For instance, she pulls out the jealousy card whenever anyone questions her behavior....
Re: What would you do if..
Okay, this is a good idea. Duh. Ugh, let's say this is happening...my intitial reaction is to bolt. Is that bad? And how do you know if something is an addiction or casual usage? Is there a difference?
I say that's the healthy choice. You can't fix someone else, but you can become drawn into all of the dangers and hurt that come with trying to help an addict.
I see the wouldn't just walk away comments, but what can you really do? You can't have them arrested because you suspect drugs, you can't force them into treatment, you can't detox them at home, and you certainly can't force them to want to give up drugs.
Ordinarily, I would want to help but...and all hypothetically, of course...it is so stupid. And I can't grasp why anyone would make these types of decisions and it isn't my problem and I don't want to go through the heartache...and this person can't be reasoned with about ANYTHING right now so....It is sad because, regardless of what I do - try to help or bolt - the friendship is essentially over. You know? Lord.
I found out my BFF from high school was using drugs shortly after we graduated. I love her dearly and her parents have become like my parents. I am also friends with her younger sister and said something to her about it. We decided to go to her parents and tell them. My friend got pissed and shortly there after she got very sick. While she was in the hospital she got clean and sober. We are still the best of friends now and we sort of joke about it now and she will tell me how she loves me because I stuck around with her druggie self. I know it isnt a joking matterbut it works for us. Obviously your friend (I am guessing) doesn't live at home any more. I agree with Allison in contacting a drug counselor. But don't give up on the friendship just yet. You never know she may thank you later.
I'm with Wendy on this one. People won't be helped until they want help. Maybe you cutting off the friendship (and I would damn well let the friend know what's up) is the catalyst they need to realize they need help.
I would *hope* that this would happen but sadly, I think she is so into herself right now that cutting her off will be seen as jealousy. I can't really say anything more than that other than 6 months ago she was fine and now....wow.
So, what makes you think it's cocaine as opposed to something else, out of curiosity?
If it were me, I'd probably say something along the lines as what 5th said (although probably way less articulately and full of awkwardness), but that's what I'd aim for.
Well...because she told me about her DEALER!!!!!!!!
This is the perfect thing to say to her. You're not giving up on her or your friendship, but you are letting her know that unless things change you cannot condone her usage or get sucked into her toxic life.
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Then what's to suspect? If you think you should, cobble together something like 5th's response, and then go along your merry way.
Well, at the time, I was so...grossed out, I didn't ask any questions. Just because she has a dealer doesn't mean she is actually using, right? I am not even sure why a person would TELL SOMEONE this bit of information. Regardless, I think I have a plan. Thanks so much ladies and whew!