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Nanny Problem- thoughts?
I am a teacher and had a nanny for this school year.
She was reliable, hard working, and sweet. As theschool year ended, we pleasantly parted ways last week. On her last day I gave her a generous bonus and a thank you a card. Since she was no longer employed by us I thought it would be fun to friend her on social media- she does not have an fb so I decided to see if she has a twitter.
Well she does and she was apparently using it to tweet about my kids- ALL THE TIME. The sound of their voices annoy her, my daughter is underdeveloped for her age, we left her too much laundry, etc. There were some nice ones about the kids as well, but of course it's the negative ones that keep running through my mind.
Many lessons learned, I will definitely implement a 'no social media' policy with any future caregivers, and google anyone I intend to hire. ( We found her through an agency that completed background checks, but I also learned via Twitter that she smokes pot.)
My immediate reaction was to want to tweet her and apologize for causing so many #nannyproblems, but I didn't. Would you contact her and ask her to delete these tweets? Or should I just leave it alone?
Re: Nanny Problem- thoughts?
Good luck with that one. People do use aliases on FB and others. So you'll be hard pressed to have him or her hold fast to the no social media rule.
Do nothing. She has a right to a personal life, and to complain about whatever tiny little thing bothers her at any given moment just like the rest of us. I get that you feel bad that she complained about your family, but everyone has the right to vent.
Unless you have evidence to prove that she smoked pot around your kids or in your home, or unless she was abusive or otherwise a bad nanny (which she wasn't), there is no reason to contact the agency or anyone else.
And good luck with a "no social media" policy. Perhaps when no one's willing to work for you because of it you'll reevaluate.
Tell me, do you honestly never complain about your job on Facebook, Twitter, whatever? Would you happily follow a "no social media" policy yourself?
Um I think the OP was refering to "no social media" as in, "no mentioning her family/kids" on that social media outlet not that the nanny couldn't be on FB.
Anyway, I would not contact her. However, the smoking pot thing is a big deal for caregivers of children. And, yes, I'd contact the agency and report it. As a parent myself, I'd appreciate another parent stepping up and reporting something that could potentially harm my child.
Thank you for your response. As I've looked around after this I have seen that no social media clauses are pretty common these days in nanny's contracts. Not that they can't have accounts of course, just that their childrens' names photographs and other identifying information be posted as mine were.
And I do just want to say that I am completely confident that she never smoked pot in my home or around my children. By all accounts she was wonderful to them, which is why this was such a shock to me.
She's a complete idiot for tweeting her professional thoughts. Everybody gets annoyed by their boss and clients. But to think that its okay to Tweet it is naive.
That said, it's worth asking - as a teacher, haven't you had these thoughts, too? About your students, even if you love your work?
I would say something to the agency. Not to demand action, but to say you found it (easily) and think it is a poor reflection on the agency referal and very unprofessional on her part, in general. Because it is.
I don't mean to be snarky, but what's the difference between her posting this stuff on Twitter and you having "identifying information" about your children in your signature?
Venting about your job on social media is stupid. Venting about your job on social media in such a way your client can find it is a special level of stupid. I'm curious where you fall on this spectrum.
Venting about a client on social media is grounds for termination at most businesses. You really don't understand that?
I would never name or bash my students via social media, and need a signed release from their parents to even take their pictures.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I think it was definitely wrong for her to post anything publicly about your children on a networking site. Your children are really none of her twitter followers business.
On the other side of that, regardless of you parting ways as employer and employee I think professional boundaries should apply. I have FB and I have very high privacy settings and do not add people I work with. Sometimes I love to vent about my crappy day, and having your boss or other employees really hinders your ability to be yourself on your own time.
I think you should not contact the agency about this though, she didn't post pictures, or treat your children badly. All-in-all it sounds like she was a good employee when she was working. Why ruin her chances of finding another job? What she chooses to do on her personal time away from your family is her choice (i.e: the smoking weed situation), as long as it doesn't affect her work.
I work for my mother-in-law and have her as a friend on Facebook (which is locked down and contains very little personal information, as everyone's should be) so when I need to vent I use Twitter. I don't name names, I don't have any identifying information, and I see no problem with doing so. You really don't understand that?
I agree with both responses. Not to mention how utterly immature it is to vent about one's work on FB and the likes.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
What I can't grasp is her b*tching about her job a on social media site. I will never understand people who do that.
Anyways just drop it. She clearly needed to vent...and thats ok. But maybe she should try it off the internet.
I am sorry but I would tell her to take down the pictures. that she should not do. about the comments I would just not hire her again.Next person google them and see how they treated their prior job.
I am FB friends with my daycare provider and I like that we have an open communication.
JennyB's Contact!!!
I have never done this.
But, OP, if she uses you as a reference for other job prospects, I would let them know. It may bite her in the asss, but that is her own stupid fault.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
All of this.
I have never aired dirty laundry or a bad day on FB. I don't "twitter" so I can't comment on what that enviornment is like.
I think you have a limited experience in a professional environments due to who your boss is. Working for you MIL is not the norm for most of America and will come with different "rules."
I also find your attitude about Facebook and Twitter's purposes woefully naive. I'm sorry you have to vent, but that's why coffee breaks and happy hours exist. To publicly (and Facebook, Twitter, etc are public platforms, no matter how locked down you think it is) air your frustrations with your current employer is unprofessional to the max. I'd never do it. To assume that it's okay just shows lack of understanding and integrity.
OP - I'd call the agency and report that she has been using her Twitter account to vent about her clients. It's inappropriate and she should face the consequences of it. If she doesn't want people to realize it's her or who she's talking about, then she should invest in a new Twitter handle that doesn't identify her, learn a little about internet safety and professionalism. Her behavior actually disgusts me. That doesn't mean that I don't agree with her right to vent - vent to your boyfriend, your friends at the bar, your parents in your home, but you never EVER vent publicly like this without realizing it could come with ramifications.
I have a lack of integrity because I understand that using no identifying information, using an alias, not having my social media be public (therefore searchable and accessible), not friending people I don't know, and not putting contact information anywhere protects my ranting? Well alrighty then. DH works in IT, and I know what can and can not be done to protect myself. If you want to be paranoid, reactionary, and judgmental, go for it. Or you could be smart about giving yourself a place to vent and, you know, human.
I think you contradicted your entire stance of defending the public nanny with this post, but I can't be sure because your writing is unclear. But, my point remains: if you want to vent on Facebook and Twitter about your job, then you better make sure you are anonymous and untraceable. This lovely nanny did not do that and therefore, she deserves anything coming to her, which at the very least is making it common knowledge that she can't hold her tongue in a public format.
If that makes me - what were your words? Reactionary, judgmental and paranoid? So be it. At least I know the difference between venting my frustrations to my sister and standing on a platform in Central Park and blabbing about my life.
Actually, I was never defending the nanny- what I said was that like everyone else, she has the right to a personal life and to vent. Obviously she wasn't too careful about doing it, but everyone needs to let off steam now and then. Should she not have been a dumbazz about it? Sure. (Pictures and names should never have been posted, for instance.) Should OP report a wonderful nanny to the hiring agency about it, potentially damaging her career? Nope. She could always talk to the nanny herself, but clearly she feels uncomfortable doing that.
Venting is fine, if you're smart about it. If you're not smart about it, fine, you take your chances. You also take your chances that you may not like what you find when looking into someone's personal life.
ETA: What made you paranoid, reactionary, and judgmental were your personal attacks on me, your inability to consider a point of view other than your own, and your obliviousness that venting can be done safely. If you don't do it, fine. Attacking me because I allow myself a safe space to be human is uncalled for. Both you and susiederkins should probably talk to someone about these issues of yours.
It must be our age, ECB. Pass me my cane.
No, I have never vented about my job on social media. Like ECB, I'll vent to my husband and friends, but on Facebook. It's just not a smart thing to do. As I've already said, grounds for termination at any job I've ever worked at.
If I ran the agency, I'd want to know what the nanny did. It reflects poorly on my business. From my perspective, if I found out a vendor of mine spoke poorly of me on social media, I wouldn't use them again. It shows poor judgement.
And do you ever post about your job here? Your husband, your kids, your family? Just because it isn't Facebook doesn't mean it isn't social media. Venting about any of those things here is exactly like venting elsewhere. As long as you take precautions, there is nothing wrong with any of it.
No, I don't post about by job on here, per our social media policy. Nor do I vent about my husband or child. I mostly enjoy playing with the wilfully obtuse.
You keep defending the nanny, but my empathy lies with the OP. She paid the nanny good money to watch her kids, and her thanks is to find a string of negative comments about her and her children. It's inappropriate and unprofessional, and the nanny deserves the consequences of her actions. It's a hard lesson, but one she needs to learn. You don't get to say whatever you want when and wherever you want. It's a millennial mindset I find baffling.
OP-- I'm a little shocked that the nanny--knowing what she had posted about your kids--still added you as a friend. Maybe she was high when she did it.
I don't belong to twitter, but as a facebook user, I've kept a strict "no work" policy. I don't add any work colleagues, bosses or clients as friends, and I never complain about my work in my updates. I don't see the reason for it, for one thing. Updating my status doesn't help me "vent". Talking to people in real life does. It's not only unprofessional, it's dangerous to vent about your work on social media. Especially with the amount of times Facebook changes their privacy policy, I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them. And, PS, I work in IT, as does my husband. Though i don't see what that has to do with anything.
Once again, I'm not defending the nanny. She shouldn't have tweeted in a way that could be identified. I'm saying that it can be done safely and that OP should let this go. Is ruining a wonderful nanny's career necessary? Obviously you think so. I don't.
And again, thanks for the personal attack. Seems you never learned how to express your opinion without cutting others' down. What a shame.
If you'll read the OP, you'll see that this was on Twitter. The nanny didn't friend the OP and allow her access, she found her on Twitter and didn't like what she found.
The point about IT was to demonstrate that I know the security limitations and I don't vent without proper precautions. Again, I am not defending the nanny- I'm defending venting if it is done safely. You may want to scroll up, since you missed all of that.