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Ignoring name change
A have a very slight marriage dilemma that I would like assistance with if you ladies don't mind. A few weeks ago, before my grandfather's funeral, my mother must have said to me three times that she told the reverend to address me in the service as Amber Knottie. She claimed it was because "everyone knows" me by that name. Of course all of the people at the service were also at my wedding. I let it go.
I just received a message that I received an Edible Arrangement but they weren't able to deliver since I'm not home. I had sent my mother one for Mother's Day and my birthday is Monday, so put two and two together and I am quite certain who it's from. The girls at the store told me it was for Amber Knottie, not Amber Nestie.
What is the most polite way I can tell her that although I grew up her little Amber Knottie, I am now Amber Nestie. I'm not asking her to call me Mrs. Nestie or anything because that's a bit showy. But I feel she's doing it intentionally because she doesn't really like DH.
Re: Ignoring name change
My Blog
I think you need to just be straightforward with her, like Sessions says.
It's especially funny because I have the opposite problem with my mom...she calls me Mrs. Nestie, because she knows it is weird and new, and it's my MILs name, so, ICK.
Thats weird, and I understand why that would be really frustrating. I agree. You may just have to be really straightforward. Clearly she's not getting the hints. I would just let her know that you undestand that change is hard but that your name is Nestie now not Knottie and that you would sincerely appreciate it if she could call you by the correct name.
I sort of understand. My mom doesn't really call me by my name or whatever, as there hasn't really been a situation where she would name my last name. But when she hears me refer to myself by my new last name she always corrects me. She'll say, Knottie, not Nestie. I'm just like..um...no...definitely Nestie. Then she just shakes her head and says, "I can't get used to that"
I'm sorry.
I agree with everyone just be straightforward about it. Tell her pointblank that you are Amber Nestie and that you won't respond to Amber Knottie anymore.
Just be firm and she'll get it eventually. And don't be afraid to correct her in front of people.
Just remind her again, and try to be firm. You could lighten it by saying, "I know it might be weird at first to get used to, but I am Amber Nestie now."
My mom wrote a check for Christmas to me with my married name, but then for my birthday I guess she forgot and wrote my maiden name. I think in her case it was an "Oops" moment, and not a deliberate calling me of my old name. That really stinks if she doesn't like your H and wants to get in her "dig", however small, in that way.
Pomegranate Margarita
I think you've gotten some good advice in here, Amber, so I don't have anything new on that front. Just be upfront about why you find it hurtful and what you prefer.
I can totally sympathize with the name annoyance, though. Before we were married, I HATED when people used Ms. Nates Newlast instead of my maiden name. It wasn't my name and it drove me crazy, especially since I wasn't sure if I was going to change my name or not. The worst was when people would address things Mr. Nates Lastname and Nates. Hello? I'm not Madonna. I have a last name.
Miss || Mrs. || Hawaiian Honeymoon and Reviews!
Thanks for the advice, everyone. I just wanted to make it clear to her that I am picking up on what she's been saying and that it seems intentionally unkind.
Nates, your siggy pic is adorable.
Miss || Mrs. || Hawaiian Honeymoon and Reviews!