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Double standard?
Can anyone explain to me why men want their woman to dress conservatively, but they just love looking at other women who dont??
I got into an argument with my hubby the other day because we went out to dinner and the dress I wore (that HE picked out while shopping, btw...) hugged my curves. The dress was hardly provacative, but it didnt hide the fact that I'm shaped like a woman either. He made a comment about not wanting other men to look at me (not my goal...I just wanted to look nice for HIM) , yet I put up with the fact that he looks at import models online and in magazines...and we all know its not their job to look like angels.
I just find it ridiculous that he doesnt even want me to come close to looking like the women that he finds attractive.
Re: Double standard?
This isn't men, it's misogynist men. He thinks women are items who are owned and consumed by looking at them. He wants to own you completely and have no other men consume you. He does, however, want to consume other women.
I'd pick a better guy if I were you. How the f*ck did this one get past the dating stages?!
I'm with Kuus. I'm curious about the dress too. It doesn't need to be a pic of you in it, just a pic or link from the store's site.
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general
Seriously.
All of this.
This.
WTH, OP? You wear what you want to wear, and if he has an issue with it, he can stick your dress where the sun doesn't shine. If my DH thinks something doesn't look good, he tells me, but he is not in charge of my wardrobe.
I dated someone who wanted me in jeans and t-shirts and work boots. Why? So no other guy would look at me!!!
If I happened to "dress up" ( his term for anything other than jeans) he would want to know WHO I was dressing up for!
Needless to say he is in my past !!
This is NOT a "double standard" problem, it's a controlling-husband problem.
WHY is he picking out your clothes (both when shopping AND at home) instead of you choosing for yourself?
And what do you mean he "wants you to dress conservatively"? Does he have rules about what you can/cannot wear?
DH likes me to look my best. He knows who I am going home with... and he seems to like to think that other men are envious that he gets to sleep with me and they don't. Though he's smart enough not to admit to the last part.
Let him know how it makes you feel. I'm not in a rush to say leave something who acts like this, but he needs to know that he's got a double standard and you're not putting up with it.
just my 2cents
This is not a man/double standard issue at all. Like others have said...he seems controlling. At least controlling on this part. And very jealous. Which turns around into insecure. That is the underlying problem
I would have a chat with him in a non-accusing way. If you sit there and just call him out he will get defensive.
Yeah- pretty much what everyone wrote already.
DH doesn't pick my clothes, but if I had to say what he "liked" - he likes it when *I* feel I look good and *I* feel comfortable. If I"m dressed up and look particularily good- he likes it and is proud to be w/ me because he knows *I* feel good.
Your DH is controlling and I ditto Kuus - how did you make it past the dating stage?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10