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Wish things were the way they were in the beginning
My marriage isn't at all in trouble, but sometimes i can't help but wish things were the way they were when we first started dating. Does anyone else feel like this? My husband and I have been together for 7 years now, married 2 months ago. When we first started dating we were all lovey dovey, kissing, and cuddling in bed, and all that beginning of relations stuff. I kinda feel like we are just too comfortable with each other now. There's constant farting/burping, we kind of let outselves go-meaning I've stopped getting hair cuts, I rarely wear a bra round the house, he doesn't even comb his hair anymore, and wears shirts with holes in it, we never cuddle anymore, we never take pictures together, ect. ect.
I also sometimes feel bad when I'm on Facebook and I see couples writing sweet things to each other, or posting pictures and posting sweet comments under them. I know all this sounds kinda silly, but I do truly miss the beginning of our relationship and wish things were like that now. Sigh
Re: Wish things were the way they were in the beginning
If you're not happy that you've let yourselves go, have a conversation with our H about it. Get haircuts, wear a bra around the house. Ask your H to comb his hair and throw his holey shirts away or only wear them to bed etc. If you want more affection (cuddles), tell your H. He's not a mind reader. Maybe you've both just gotten in a rut. Make strides to change that and see what happens.
GL.
Boy are you guys ever in a rut.:)
SIt down with him and talk to him.
Do this on some day when you and he have time to talk.
And prep yourself for the talk: get a haircut, get some nice makeup and wear it, wear some nice clothes, add some perfume.
Tell him that you think it would be great if you both started sprucing up a bit and dressing nicely --- he's hot right now and so are you but it would be hotter if you 2 decided to start looking nice again for each other.
How can he resist?:)
Maybe go to the mall and pick out something nice for each other. Make this a "homework" project the 2 of you can do: find a nice hair salon that does guys and ladies' hair --- get recommendations -- and then go there and get hair styling.
And discard the rags. That's what it sound like what the 2 of you got goin' on around the house.:) There's no way the 2 of you should dress like you've put on what's been mouldering at the bottom of the reject pile of clothes that the both of you have:)
These are only some suggestions.
From what I can see from that tiny photo you have in your profile, you're a couple of nice looking people. So no problem there.:)
This is fixable. Let us know how you guys do. GL.
I agree with PP's.
It does sound like you have just given up on looking good. Get regular hair cuts again. Get the occasional mani/ pedi. Heck do the pedi together and see if he likes it. He may like being pampered.
There is nothing wrong with being grungy (no bra/ wrinkly cloths/ no makeup) but all the time seems excessive. I am sick now (2 months) so this is me almost all of the time. When I feel good or going to venture out the front door I try to look presentable even if I feel like crud.
As for the cuddling and taking photos together, just start doing it again. We cuddle more now then when we first started dating over 10 years ago. It may not be as much as when you first started but what is stopping you from doing it now? You do not need to take photos all the time together. How about whenever you go on a date/ new/ special outing you take a photo to commemorate it.
Try to ignore people on facebook. Just because people are all lovey dovey on it does not mean that they are necessarily happy.
Take care of yourself. Make yourself feel good and look good. Have fun and continue to nurture the romance & relationship between you two.
I was in the same place as you with 2 children under the age of one and had been pregnant for 2 years. I started putting in effort and actually put makeup on, got some "nice" around the house close and bought myself new sexy panties and bras. Got highlights, made sure I had pedicures and made an effort to make sure everything was waxed. This actually worked for ME as I felt much better about myself. And granted my soon to be exH and I didn't work out but sex was not our issue in that we had hot amazing sex our whole relationship pretty much every day if not several times a day.
So yes make the effort. The fact that you still wish things were different with HIM is good. Fix it. You are still a woman, he is still a man. Get some sexy things, pamper yourself for free. Turn the TV off and give him a sexy massage and some real foreplay attention, not just hey want some sex then proceed to everyday position. And Have Fun!!!