Hi everyone! New here...

BBear13

...and so happy this board exists, and I'm not alone!! We don't necessarily want children at all, but certainly not for at least another few years. We both come from huge families, and had to take care of younger siblings and cousins so much in our childhoods that we are kind of burned out on the kid thing. We're loving our freedom.

Ever since we got engaged, my very nosy coworkers (who all complain about how hard it is being a parent all the time!) have been harassing me about how long we're going to wait to have kids, and it's so frustrating!  I work for a tiny tiny office, people literally share medical information and stories about their bathroom use with each other, while I am extremely private and not friends outside of work with anyone at my office. 

They keep saying "marriage, dog, house, kid!!" We don't have a dog or a house, and aren't planning on those any time soon, either. Still, no matter what response I give, it doesn't stop them.

I've even tried "never," to which the response is always "you're young, you'll change your mind." (I'm almost 30)

I have also tried "we don't even know if we *can* biologically have children," which is true, to which the response is "You can always try IVF or adopt!"

I've also tried "that's not something I'm comfortable discussing." All that gets is "You can talk to me about it - I told you about my ectopic, my c-section, my...etc, etc."  Some people think I'm just immature and grossed out by pregnancy (I'm not) or that I'm scared (again, not) so they tell me pregnancy and labor horror stories to tease me.

I've told several coworkers that even if I ever did get pregnant while working here, I wouldn't tell anyone at all, I'd just get huge then go on my maternity leave, because it's no one else's business.

Lately I've just done a half-hearted laugh and said I need to get back to work, which makes people think I am hiding something. Every time I get a headache, or feel tired, everyone immediately starts in on the "aaaah you're pregnant aren't you?!" act.  

I guess I am the weird exception at this office. Most women who work here get married, within a year are pregnant, then they never come back from maternity leave because they decide to stay home permanently. 

Anyway, if anyone has any good one-liners to shut down perpetually rude people, I'd love to hear them. I'm sure I'll get a chance to try them out soon!

 

RevJen

"Would you like to know how often we have sex?  Or perhaps the number of positions we try."

sessionswedding

"Since we're apparently asking each other extremely inappropriate personal questions about our sexual habits now, are you a swallower?  Oh, that grosses you out?  Don't worry, you're just young, you'll get over it."

"Wow, misery must REALLY love company since you won't get off my case about joining the mommy club."

"Every time someone asks me when I'm having kids, I postpone it another 6 months."

"If you ask me one more inappropriate question about my reproductive choices, I will go to HR and complain about you sexually harassing me.  I mean it, back off."

You know, stuff like that, haha.

Erinm278

I don't normally post on this board, but I get asked the same questions all the time.  I'm known to have a sense of humor and take no crap attitude, so I devised some one liners to combat this issue.  When asked, "When are you going to have kids?" respond:

"Oh, why?  Is there a shortage?"

"Well, we just got a new couch so I'm going to enjoy that for a while."

"I'm not a fan of cleaning other's bodily fluids at this point in my life."

"As soon as my husband grows up."

I could go on for days....

Sanderso39

sessionswedding:

 

"Wow, misery must REALLY love company since you won't get off my case about joining the mommy club."

 

This is the best.  Someone on the fourth of july asked if I had kids.  I said no, they said "lucky you, I have two."  Thank you for making me feel better about it stranger

BBear13

These are great!! I am definitely going to try some of these out.