Needing to vent (kinda long...sorry in advance)

marilum26

 So what I don't understand is how some military wives let their husbands rank go to their head. Your husband has the rank not you. I understand that the higher rank your husband has the better you get treated in certain places but that does not make you a better person than me or anyone else. This all came up from a command picnic we had to attend. There were a group of officer wives sitting at a table staring at me and one other wife (our husbands obviously not officers). The kept making very loud and rude comments towards us about how we shouldn't even be allowed near their table and other stupid non sense. So I walked right up to her and confronted her. I think this was the first time anyone had met her face to face before because she had nothing to say when I walked up there. All I told her was if she had a problem with to bring up to me so we can fix it, we're at a family picnic and she should be ashamed of herself for acting like a child when she should be setting the example for the children around us. I've been doing this military life for 5+ years now and never have I ever encountered such a group of wives that would rather put other wives down then form a bond. They need to stop acting like they're in high school. The military life is not cut out for high school teeny boppers. And walked away. (Told you it was long) Nothing annoys me more than wives that act like this.

tommas11

Wow...

First off, I can understand your pain. I've had a few "friends" let me on the whole notion that just because my husband will be joining the National Guard means I'm not an actual Military wife. But that's a whole different issue entirely.

Second of all, if that's what it takes to be an officer, or an officer's wife, you're much better off with people you know are your real friends. I've heard a lot of how wives let their husband's ranks go to their heads, that they should get the same respect their husbands do. But, for me, the thing is that their husbands have earned their rank and respect - the wives should do the same. If you're going to treat people like dirt, people aren't going to want to be around you. Plain and simple.

 That's just my opinion, anyway.  

Sammy0709

Disclaimer for any lurkers, please do not assume that all O wives are like that. One of my very good friends is going to be an O's wife this fall and my cousin's husband is an O as well. I am 110% sure that they would never act that way based on their personalities. In fact, when my husband was greenside (Navy Corpsman to Marines) the wife of his battalion's CO was probably the nicest person I have ever met. E wives/husbands can act very judgmental based on rank as well. ETA: what I'm trying to say is it's not the SM's rank it's the person so please don't make generalizations.

iluvmytxrgr

I have some very good friends who are O wives.  They are amazing.  We all inter-socialize all the time. The only wives I have ever encountered who were like that were new Butter Bar wives or new upper NCO wives who didn't know the drill and thought they wore the same rank as their husbands.  I've gladly knocked them off their high horses and would not hesitate to do it again.  

marilum26

Let me make something clear, I'm not saying that it's every O's wife. I'm talking about that select few at that gathering. I understand that not every wife is like this and I want to make that clear. I just can't wrap my head around how some wives let their husbands ranks go to their heads. The way they acted was just plain rude and there is no justification for it either. 

MrsBPO

My daughter is going to be an O-wife if her relationship progresses as it has been.  All the O-wives with whom she has been associating are similarly open, friendly and inclined to speak with anyone who is approachable.  She has a tatoo, a son from a prior relationship with a total loser and her father is a disabled veteran enlisted (but paternal grandfather was a career officer and IL's were career officers, while my father was enlisted for one hitch only.)

 As the wife of a corporate attorney, there is also sometimes similar track between associates and partners' and their spouses.  I must say that your approach in "confronting" them was just as impolitic as their behavior and "clique-ishness" toward you and your group, bordering on boorishness and juvenile behavior, just as theirs was.  They have their own little clique as either senior enlisted or junior officer wives and at some point it would have been pointed out to them by a senior member that their behavior is unacceptable to the group/squadron as a whole.  You could have ignored them rather than engaging them.  Or you could have walked up and joined them rather than confronting them and leaving in what appears at least in type as "a huff" over their "juvenile" behavior.

 ETA:  You also need to remember that your behavior toward the other spouses reflects on your husband, like it or not.  Maintain professionalism at all times.