Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Is this rude, or is it just me?
Yesterday we recieved an invitation to H's cousin's engagement party. They had gotten engaged last August about two weeks after we did. They didn't start planning right away because they had only been together for like 3 months. That's fine. But something that was included with this invitation nearly sent me through the roof. Registry cards. I don't have a problem that they are registered already. But I am incensed that they sent these cards with an engagement invitation. When we had our party, people asked where we were registered, and we told them not to give any gifts. People still gave us gifts anyway, and that was up to them. In no way were we asking. I have been under the impression that this is not a gift giving event. That's the bridal shower (should someone host it). I know that they are probably anxious to get stuff, since they are moving into a new apartment together next month and probably want stuff. Getting married is not about getting stuff.
Am I wrong on this? I already told H that we were not to give them anything for the engagement. I'm so annoyed. Someone talk me down off this ledge!
Re: Is this rude, or is it just me?
VERY rude!!!!
I would not be giving them anything!
Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron
Are they confused about the difference between an engagement party and bridal shower? Because wouldn't an engagement party happened, you know- Closer to the engagement?
And are they throwing the party themselves, or is someone else? They might not have even known about the registry cards being included.
OR- Maybe they don't think anyone will throw them a bridal shower?
When is the wedding? Or are they just moving in together next month and using this party as an excuse to get stuff for their apartment?
while i think it's incredibly tacky to include a registry card in ANY type of invitation, without knowing them or anything about them i'd have to give them the benefit of the doubt. if you register at most places these days, they give you registry cards and tell you to put them in your invitation. the sales staff at these places don't care what people think of you, and they can really take advantage of a poor clueless bride (there are lots of them out there).
we didn't have an engagement party, but i wouldn't assume it to be a gift-giving party. maybe the staff member that helped set up their registry convinced them otherwise?
or maybe like PP mentioned, maybe they didn't even know the registry cards were put in the invitations, if someone else sent them.
or maybe they're just greedy.
if it were me i'd probably just get them a small gift and enjoy the party.
My BFP Chart Danger Love Blog
I'm stuck on them having an egagment party a year after they get engaged....
A couples shower maybe? (if someone else is hosting it).
The point of an engagment party is to celebrate the new status of being engaged....a year later seems to miss the mark...I probably would only go if theres nothing else better going on.
I wouldn't bring a gift. It's not a gift giving event around here, and even if someone expected it I would risk looking cheap, because I think its tacky to ask for gifts for a party you are throwing to celebrate something you are (in theory) soooo happy about...its not a birthday party, and its not close enough to the engagment to even really merrit a card in my mind, because if I was close enough friends or family to care, I probably already sent/gave them a card when they got engaged. Why don't they host a housewarming when they move if they are looking for things for thier house, I know when we moved and hosted a housewarming so people could see...many people brought gifts (we didnt ask them to). Never in a million years would I include registry info for an engagment party or a housewarming though.
My Blog:Through My Eyes
YOU GO GIRL
Maybe they don't know etiquette....DHs cousin included the registry cards in with the wedding invitation that she passed out to us at her bridal shower! I think some people are unaware!
And seriously an engagement party a year later!! I would just give them a card.
I seriously LOVE this! You took the words out of my mouth.
I do find it odd the party is a year after the fact. The last I knew (a few weekends ago), they were looking into getting married NEXT July. The mother of the groom is throwing the party. I'm sure they don't know etiquette. But I do recall that at every party we had, I heard the bride to be say "I want this." Even after the wedding, they said they wanted to do what we did. This should be fun!
Yes, because a) having an engagement party when it's been a year? AND b) expecting presents?
I've never actually been to an engagement party before. With all the showers, b-parties, rehearsal dinners, etc. that go on with a wedding I honestly think having an "engagement party" is a little pretentious. Maybe it's a regional thing, but it's just not really done here.
Here an engagement party is usually very close to the engagement itself, even a month later I would think is kind of wierd unless there was a reason for it (they got engaged out of town and came back and wanted to celebrate with friends and fam), and usually more of an informal affair. Having people over for dinner, going out for drinks, or going camping, somehting like that...not a formal gift giving event, and I have never recieved a paper invite to an egagment party...just a FB event or a phone call.
My Blog:Through My Eyes