Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I just had my right to marry taken away from me
I can't believe this. How is this even happening?
It's almost 4:00 am here. I have been refeshing the results page for hours and hours, refusing to go to bed, refusing to believe. 89% of the precincts have reported and it's 52% to 48%.
This is so surreal. I am shaking. I think I may vomit.
c&p from my blog ( I may dd if or after the shock wears off ):
I have been stripped of my right to marry in my very own state. A state that allowed me to marry a mere 24 hours ago. I can?t marry someone I have already married. How is that even possible?
To have tasted the sweetness that is equality and then have it yanked away in hate is especially painful. Now I will always know what I am missing.
To add insult to injury I have been banned from marrying in two more states and banned from adopting/fostering in another.
Just a few hours ago my heart swelled with pride and I cried with joy at a nation making history. I was so proud of our progress. Hope soared into my heart and rested there for a glorious seven hours.
And now, now the tears come.
Oh, how it hurts, stings, humiliates and enrages me. I fear we will never recover what we have lost. I fear we haven?t come quite as far as I had hoped.
I just plain fear now.
Re: I just had my right to marry taken away from me
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
What is wrong with people?
California and Florida voted to ban same-sex marriages!
Arkansas voted to ban gay adoptions!
Never have I felt more like a second-class citizen.... not worthy of marriage or children...
J2 11.17.08
I'm very sorry. It sucks. People should mind their own business! If 2 people love each other and want to get married and even adopt, they should be able to. People need to get their heads out of their a$$es. Love is love, no matter if it between 2 men, 2 women or man and a woman.
Same goes for adoption. Do you mean to tell me, that just because 2 woman (or men) want to adopt they can't love the child like a traditional mother/father would? Sucks!
Duchess - please don't delete. Your words are powerful... I feel similarly. A lot of us feel similarly. I couldn't even be happy for Barack Obama winning because I am just so consumed with bitterness. I know so many people who have sacrificed for this. It's horrible. It's digusting.
I truly believe that we will see legal same-sex marriage some time in our lifetimes. The fact that the race was closer than prop 22 gives me hope.
But yeah. I'm so, so sad and disappointed.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
I truly truly feel for you and the entire gay and lesbian community. I cannot believe in this day and age that this has happened.
Just know that the fight for equality will go on and this will get overturned. To quote our President elect, "It may not happen in a year, it may not happen in a term" but it will happen. I promise to keep fighting for equality for all!!!!
Duchess, please know that while we may have not come as far as we had hoped that we WILL win this. This is another bump in a long road and while it feels like the end, it isn't. Not sure if you are going to watch Newsom's Speech but I think you should. I know he and other fellow like minded CA aren't going to give up.
Please look at how far we have come with race. Last night we elected a AA man to the highest office our nation has. It took MANY, many fights to allow biracial couples to marry, and it was a long hard fight. This is going to be a long hard fight too but we will prevail! CA is going to give you back your right to marry!
I'm so sorry.
This is the first time in my life I've been ashamed of California. I always thougth we were ahead of the nation in equal rights, but I was terribly wrong.
Please know that you do have support, and there are people out there that were fighting with you and for you, and will continue to do so.
its a bittersweet victory to have Obama as the Presidential elect while citizens are losing their basic human rights...
I feel so ashamed.
I was basically going to say the same thing...there are MANY of us here in CA that feel the same way. Please don't give up hope-it's a fight So worth fighting for!
Learning to start all over again... Blog
I have to say, that I am ashamed to be a Californian! I'm verry, verry sorry!!
We can only hope that the higher courts will overturn it at "unconstitutional" because it is!
Popping in for the first time in months to see how everyone is doing. It is somewhat incredible that such an amazing moment in history happened at the same time as such a miserable one. I'm still feeling stunned, and wishing I could be wholeheartedly happy today.
Duchess, your words are very powerful - thank you for sharing.
We're sad today, too. Holly and I grew up in CA, and our families still live there. We'd been planning to get legally married on our anniversary next summer, if Prop 8 was defeated. My dad said he'd marry his partner of 23+ years at the same time. Then Holly's parents said they would renew their vows, as well. I knew there was a chance this would pass, but it is so hard to let go of what a wonderful, happy day that would have been for our families. I just have to keep believing that it will happen someday.
valancy, long time no see! i've missed you.
my heart aches for you, duchess, and everyone in california. it aches for the people whose marriages are marginalized, it aches for our allies who have fought so hard to help us achieve equality, and it aches for those people whose minds can't comprehend the depth of the love we hold in our hearts.
this will happen. i have faith.
This is the darkest day I have ever lived in my 11-year history as a California resident.
http://feministgolddigger.blogspot.com/2008/11/dear-california.html
I'm truly sorry. From me, you're truly more worthy than at least 52% of the people out there.
I was born and raised in California. I would have moved back to vote against this proposition had it been feasible. I lived in Ohio when they passed their Amendment in 2004. I lobbied against it then and I continue to feel it is an abomination, for lack of a better word, to deprive any United States citizen a basic human right.
Again, I am truly sorry for the closed-mindedness of my former fellow Californians, as well as those from Ohio and every other state that has passed a similar law abridging the rights of American citizens.
I also have to add my disgust and outrage. I particularly can't believe that Arkansas voters would deny gay couples the right to adopt. This is probably a due process violation, even though courts have not yet given laws which butt into the lives of gay people the strict scrutiny they give laws which, for instance, discriminate on the basis of race. (Stupid Supreme Court.) But on a nonlegal approach, how could you sleep at night after casting a yes vote on one of those propositions? The Christian Right seems to have forgotten some of the basic tenets of Christianity: humility, charity, loving your neighbor, etc.
I guess the good news is that the CA Supreme Court has the same makeup as it did when it struck down the legislative ban over the summer, and a constitutional amendment can be challenged and struck down in the same way. Seems the ACLU is on top of it.
This is truly sickening. I am dismayed by California ? having lived there for several years I had more faith than this. However Arkansas really gets me because they had to hide their bias under the guise of ?unmarried couples? instead of coming right out and saying they didn?t want gay and lesbian couples to be able to adopt. Our country continues to take one step forward, two (or more) steps back. Terrible.
I currently live in Arkansas and I am beyond disgusted that the ban passed. DH and I voted against it and we truly believed people would not be so narrow-minded and deny gay adoptions. So many of us are stunned, saddened and disgusted.
Me: PCOS/Amenorrhea DH: Azoospermia due to Y Chromosome Micro Deletion IVF w/ ICSI on hold until further notice
Hope