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He makes me be deseperate!
When we met everything was peaches and cream. He was working and I was taking care of our baby. Then we move to a bigger place and he got sick and lost his job. I was not expecting a dramatic change in our life like that so I got depressed and left him. After a couple of month we decide to go around the relation and he got a new job (and so did I) everything was smooth. But we were living in different places. Because I have time for myself I started to take care of my persona (nails, hair, cloth, etc.) He was getting annoying to the fact that I was doing this to go out with my ladies and not with him, and I really didn't want it to spend my time with excuses and explanations to him so a left him for a second time. 2 Years later we are trying again because we when to therapy and promise each other to give our best for this marriage to work out. But seriously I'm not feeling like he is committed at all. I sacrifice a lot as a wife, I don't go out without him, and every time I feel like I don't like were we going during a conversation, I make him understand that I feel bad about it and we end up arguing. I have 2 jobs to be able to maintenance the house. And we move to another country because he got a job here but I'm still have t2 jobs because the income is not enough. I barely have time to spend with the kids, and we end up arguing because when I get home from work or in my days off instead of having time for the kid, he wants me to sit down and watch TV ALL DAY LONG!! When I want to clean the house he get mad at me because I make him get out of the sofa so he can help me. He does not do anything in this house. He say that, because he works he is tier and don;'t feel like cleaning. Now he is back in college online an when he needs to help with the kids homework he says that he needs to do his own homework.
I'm definitely tier of this S#!T, I don't want this anymore. I don't even feel like having intimacy at all. I'm not believing in marriage no more. When I tell him that this is not going to work out he send me back to my family (because I'm alone in this country) when he have his all family here he can count on. And I can't move out because I don't have enough income to do so. I can either count with his support because we are not legally married and because he is not my kid's father.
He says he is to old to change or adjust anything in his behavior that he doesn't like to clean and that's why I'm the wife for. I don;t feel he is motived to this marriage and to having a family anymore. His been divorce 3 times and he doesn't want to admit that he needs to adjust some stuff and get help from a professional. But I definitely need to plan a move on with my life without him. It's been 6 years of more downs than ups and I just can take it anymore.
Any help? Am I wrong??
Re: He makes me be deseperate!
This relationship was never a stable or a good one.
I'm meh on the fact he got sick and lost his job so you left him --- it's not like he lost his job and he sat on his ass all day long and did nothing to find a job -- but the fact that he's insecure (and maybe controlling) and got all huffy about you going out with the girls shows me that this guy's not for you.
He's not broad minded enough and yeah, it reeks of being too possessive and too insecure. YOu don't need a guy like this.
As for this:
When I tell him that this is not going to work out he send me back to my family (because I'm alone in this country) when he have his all family here he can count on.
Really?
He'd be doing you a vast favor! By all means let this piece of dead weight go ahead and send you back!
And I can't move out because I don't have enough income to do so. I can either count with his support because we are not legally married and because he is not my kid's father.
So why do you keep saying you are married to this jerk? Even if you "are" it is by common law ONLY --- that would depend on what state you live in (if this is the United States) and what their laws are regarding couples not legally married in the eyes of the law who have lived together for X number of years.
There is nothing here for you. i suggest you leave this guy. This realtionship was always rocky; it never had a leg to stand on.
No you're right, you need to move on. Everyone deserves a family and a partner where they feel valued and respected.
How old is your child? I'd work on finding an apartment and a daycare you can afford.
This has got to be MUD.