Trouble in Paradise
ReturnOfKuus
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
This board is making me start to condone cheating.
Between lotus and ilovetocook and their ridiculously shittastic husbands, I'm starting to think that it's not the worst thing in the world for people who are married to complete wastes of life to find out that the grass actually is a helluva lot greener on pretty much every other side. Be prepared for me to start advising women to find side pieces.
Re: This board is making me start to condone cheating.
How would the woman know he really turned his life around, and wasn't just hiding things better? Presumably she thought he was a good guy before she found out about the cheating (hypothetically; the two people I mentioned in my original post already knew their men were awful long before the cheating came to light), and was fooled. How would she know she wasn't just being fooled again? She'd always wonder, never feel completely secure. With almost three billion men in the world to choose from, it seems silly to settle for this kind of life.
As far as it being a place for advice, though... not really. It's a place for the Nest sponsors to get people to see their ads. As long as that happens, it works like the rest of the internet.
I think this is one of those posts where people should just agree to disagree. Obviously some people believe in change while others don't.
Totally agree. I think that the main thing is yes if your guy was an ass before and u married him and hes still an ass then well... you should not be surprised.
I guess I am just sensitive to the whole situation and seeing so many people say "oh he will never change" "cheating equals divorce"... Those are such blanket statements I have seen around ( not necessarily from you, but FOR SURE on this forum). You don't know what other reasons could have led to that mental health issues,alcohol and drugs, just being a jerk. Obviously there is no excuse but there are other things we are unaware of and the internet gives such a small portion of a persons lives. Plus if you have been in a long term marriage I for certain am not willing to throw in the towel if we both are willing to work. I guess I have to keep in mind I am one of the women on this board who is not still newly married and might have a different opinion.
But for the girl who was cheated on before multiple times.... well at that point yah get out. He obviously will not change and it doesn't sound like he actually wants to. Divorce is imminent. Sorry to rant.
Well no one here straight out said that in this particular post. But I am right. There ARE people who don't believe in change. That has been proven over and over in the nest forums,
This
This is perfectly stated.
I've been there, I've tried to work on a relationship after finding out he cheated. I've learned that for me, I cannot get past the cheating.
Even if I thought we were past it, much later when the relationship ends, with 20/20 hindsight, I have looked back and realized that the distance between us that ultimately ended things really began with the cheating. For me, anyway. For him, maybe it was there earlier and that's why he cheated.
Point is, I realized it had been broken since then and all I wished for was every minute of my life back from the moment I knew he had cheated.
Pretty much. If my H ever cheated on me, I would leave. No matter how much he would beg me to stay and say he would change, I would be out of there. I am not a doormat.
The thing is, maybe some guys do change, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life with the guy not being able to trust him? Ever. Again. Trust is so important in a marriage and once that trust is broken....seriously, I don't know any woman who would want to live in fear that they cannot trust that their H would not cheat on them again if it happens once already.
The point is here *
And your response is all the way over here *
WTF are you talking about and how does it relate to what Kuus said?
And in response to kuus: I would back you 100% in this new mission. My concern is that if you have so little self respect as to chose someone who is blatantly an *** the first time, I doubt you're going to grow a pair in time to pick a good side piece.
LOL
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
lol, as much as I would never encourage cheating, and I really think you're sort of the type of person to cheat or you aren't, I can totally see why it might be good in their situations. I definitely agree with ending the relationship, but wouldn't it be nice if there were a way for women to see that men aren't all abusive and horrible before they try to leave? I have a friend who is convinced that her bad relationship is just perfectly normal, because "that's all that's out there". My husband and I have our issues, but nothing like she does. I wish she could basically date other men to have the confidence to leave knowing there are better ones out there.
That being said, I don't condone cheating, and I don't really condone putting up with cheating either. I'm just the kind of person who would never, ever be able to get over it. He could swear 1000 times he's a changed man, yet I'd always wonder if it was true. I'd be a changed woman, is what I'm saying.