Married Life
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how to live without a car
my fiance and i are trying to find a place to live but neither one of us drives. im 19 and just moving away from my crazy grandparents who wouldnt let me drive just bc im bipolar. he is 25 and doesnt drive bc he lives in nyc near public transportation and thinks driving is pointless and too expensive. but we are moving to florida not so close to public transportation. i think driving is a nessecity, but rick on the other hand thinks it is too expensive to own a car. you see my problem. right?
Re: how to live without a car
Why are you moving when you can't figure out something as critical as transportation?
What about bicycles?
Are you moving in with him because you love him or because "you're a grownup now" and can finally leave your "Crazy" grandparents?
Why are you moving to Florida? What's there? If you don't live close to public transit you are going to have to drive to get to a job... What do you/he do for a living?
TTA buddies w/ xcitedbride2009
Agree with everybody else, but in the meantime I'll offer a few practical considerations about carless living. I've lived in four different places without a car - it was easier in some than in others. It can be done. If you are going to be without a car, though, you need to start thinking like a carless person before you (for example) sign a lease. Some questions to ask yourself:
Does the town have any buses or public transportation? If so, how widespread is it? What roads do the buses travel on? Are there neighborhoods that can't be reached by bus at all? How late do the buses run (or how early do they start running)? Do they run 7 days a week? On holidays? How much does it cost, and can you get discounts if you buy a monthly pass, are a student, etc.?
If you have a bike (as a PP suggested), how easy is it to bike in the town? Are there bike paths or designated bike lanes on any of the streets? Is the town very hilly? (Probably not in FL.) Are there other people who bike there? Do stores etc. tend to have bike racks outside of them?
Does the town have sidewalks? (Seriously. My current city has a LOT of roads w/o sidewalks - some are quiet residential streets and it's ok to walk down the side of the road, but others are pretty much highways, not safe for walking.)
How far are you able or willing to walk in order to get to: the bus stop (if there is one); work; the grocery store; other shopping; the doctor? Groceries are a big one. H and I do the grocery shopping together each week; we each have one backpack and one extra bag, and we can get a week's worth of food home in that. We're lucky b/c we live just a couple of blocks from the grocery store.
Is there a taxi service in the town that you could use either (a) to get groceries etc., depending on your disposable income, or (b) to get to the hospital or elsewhere fast in case of an emergency?
Once you've looked into all this, your goal in finding a place to live should be a place that is as close as possible to as many of the following as possible: bus stop, work, grocery store, other places you might want to get to. This will probably limit your options somewhat, though (depending on the town) not necessarily in a bad way.
Do you both have jobs in Florida? Do you go to school? What is your plan once you get there?
Once we have more details, we might be able to help.
Honestly...you sound a lot like a kid without a plan.
P.S. Please learn how to spell.
So you are moving in with him because your grandparents are kicking you out. Also you can't get disability from a dead person. Why don't you both get real jobs? If his mother is dead how is she in Florida? You are still a kid, which is made obvious by your typing and how grown up you clearly think you are.
TTA buddies w/ xcitedbride2009
We have lived without a car for years. Granted, there's public transit here. It's not great, but you do what you have to do if you don't really have money for a car (and trust me, I know a tonne of people who are stretching budgets to the limit because they don't realize how very much a car can cost). A cab here and there is a lot less expensive than keeping a car.
We walk most everywhere (and always pick places near grocery stores), and we look for jobs within walking distance (this saves SO much time and money). Also biking, especially if you're moving somewhere warm...you should be able to find a place near a job and a grocery store that are all within biking distance no problem. Get a big crate for your bike, and a trundle grocery cart for when you're walking.
We take a cab home for big grocery or shopping trips (although don't even do that often), and rent a car for long trips to visit family. This still costs us FAR less than keeping a car.
Definitely plan well before you move, get just the right area, and you'll save yourself a huge headache.
I call MUD but in case it's not, your post is confusing. He lives in NYC so doesn't drive but where do you live that you can drive but aren't allowed to? what does a 25 year old want with a 19 year old? How does he get disability because his mother is dead? How does a 25 year old "man" not have a job? What on earth is in FLA besides his biological mother? it doesn't bode well that you are banking on being able to live off the backs of hard working people. While it's possible that with your bi-polar condition you could get SSI, I'd be very cautious of a 25 year old man who doesn't have a job and from what you say seems to have no conditions preventing him from working.
The very idea that you feel it's ok to start your relationship and eventual marriage off with nothing tells me that you are not ready for any of it. Get on some meds, clear your mind and then make these decisions. Don't do anything now while you are in one of your manic phases.