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I regret my wedding band choice, considering upgrade
I hope I can get some constructive advice. We have been married less than two months, and I wonder if I am being totally unreasonable for requesting an upgrade so soon into our marriage. My husband and I picked out my wedding band at Zales, prior to getting engaged. I really don't like my ring, but I want to save up for a house, and I agreed to my ring because it was unbelievably cheap. We paid only $250 for it, and I have no engagement ring.
There was a $1400 ring set I was in love with at the time, but I want a house, and I can't rationalize spending that much on a ring when that could go towards the down-payment. I wanted to skip the e-ring, because I felt that saving for a down-payment on a house was more important than the ring. We also have a fair amount of student loans that we need to pay off. We also eloped to save money, and spent less than $1000 for our entire wedding, including the rings (his was also $250) and my lovely used dress.
We set up a budget and I was excited that we would make progress on our down-payment. DH has not been following the budget. He exceeds our entire entertainment budget in two weeks, leaving none for the rest of the month, and no entertainment for me. I do not have much time for entertainment anyway, because I am working two jobs right now. I thought maybe our budget was too tight, but hubby doesn't want to adjust it. He came up with the entertainment budget himself, but doesn't follow it. He also bought a camera that exceeded the cost of both our rings, that was not in our budget at all.
So, I was fine with no e-ring and an inexpensive wedding band initially, but now that our budget has gone out the window, I am regretful that I sacrificed having an engagement ring. I told my husband I would I told my husband about how I felt. I suggested a 5 or 10 year ring upgrade, but he wants be to be happy with my ring now. I am looking at Moissanite rings in a 3 stone setting, and also am still considering the $1400 real diamond ring that I initially fell in love with. My husband doesn't like the Moissanite idea, because he thinks I will eventually resent that it isn't real. I feel like I am the only one that is scrimping and saving, but I don't know if this is stupid and immature to suddenly want a ring after he doesn't follow the budget.
Re: I regret my wedding band choice, considering upgrade
Is it rude to ask how old you are? I'm not being snarky.
Sorry. Here is my ring (1/2 ct 13 diamonds prong set). Sorry the pic is huge.
I don't consider asking my age to be a rude question at all. I am 28, husband is 29. Our combined income is actually relatively high.
This is the one that I fell in love with.
http://www.fredmeyerjewelers.com/Products/1_ct_tw_Diamond_Wedding_Set--982579-982603.aspx#
This times 100.
I think you have much bigger problems than worrying about if you should upgrade your wedding ring.
Ditto that this is not about the ring...
I bet that if your husband was working as hard toward the down payment, you wouldn't be feeling negatively toward your ring. Right now you feel like you are making all the sacrifices for your joint goal and he is spending money carelessly. You resent his cavalier attitude toward money.
I would suggest posting your budget on Money Matters and see if they can't help you shuffle things a bit to give you both more entertainment money. I think that a budget (like a diet) isn't something you can stick with if you have no financial dessert built in.
My husband could spend 1000 or so on my wedding band. His budget was 800. I have a small finger so we had the jeweler call the company directly and ask if they could construct the ring in my size at the warehouse. They said yes. That was important to my husband because if I would have chosen a ring that was bigger than my size, it could have come out egg shaped from down siziing.
We looked in the jeweler's catalog and I found a nice band design I liked in our budget. We special ordered the ring in rose gold (normally in white gold)).
It is also a stackable ring which means I can another ring for an anniversary to add to the look.
What great advice to the OP!
OP - I agree with PPs who have said this isn't about the ring. You need to speak with your husband and his unwillingness to stay within your budget.
So, I wanted to give everyone an update on my situation, since I got such wonderful advice. We revisited the budget and are getting a cheaper cable package. We also saved a lot of money by combining our cell phone plans into one account and our car insurance into one policy. I also convinced him to take me to one of my jobs on his way to work, so I don't have to put gas in my car as often (my M-F job is right next to his). So, with the money we will from changes, we will have a small amount of personal spending for just individual spending.
The ring situation is not entirely settled, though. I hope I will feel better about my ring, when I see that he sticks with the new looser budget.
It sounds like you are making progress @ no frogs. Hopefully, with the revised budget and having more "fun" money, you will no longer feel like you need a ring upgrade this soon.
As for my previous posting, I am not sure what was meant by the question about a ring poll. I admit I may have gone off on a tangent a little about my ring. I was just saying that since my husband couldn't afford a more expensive ring, we agreed to get a stackable one, so that in the future I may get another stackable ring(s) of a different design to add to the look of my wedding band