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What does "one day at a time" mean?
HI guys. I have been with a girl for nearly 2 months. Admittedly things have moved kinda fast. I have stayed in her house a lot and have been introduced to her kid. She even told me she loved me. In my opinion our sex life is fantastic. However the past few days she has been slightly distant/cold.
I have been following her lead to a certain extent! Cos of her having a child etc. However I have a few questions.
1) She asked me to take the relationship one day at a time! What does this mean?
2) she told me on friday that she isnt used to getting so much attention cos she didnt get it in her last relationship! she said it kind of freaks her out.
3) she said she had just got used to being on her own before I came along and isnt sure what she wants.
4) I offered her space and told her to call me or text if she needed to! She did call and text. I asked to see her last night and we cuddled/kissed/slightly frisky lol.
5) Should any of these things mean a red flag?? I do really like this girl and I want it to work. she said she really likes spending time with me etc.! but she doesn't want to hurt me. She says she doesnt want to do anything to mess it up in the future.
I took some of those things as "I need a few days to work out how I am going to break up with you as gently as possible!". But last night she seemed fine!
Any advice on what to do next people???
Re: What does "one day at a time" mean?
I took some of those things as "I need a few days to work out how I am going to break up with you as gently as possible!". But last night she seemed fine!
You might be on to something with that. It seems to me like she might not be sure of this relationship, and isn't sure what to do. Maybe she is starting to realize that it is going to fast for her.
What's a big red flag: You and she are moving way too fast.
For the sake of the child, slow this relationship down.
I don't know how old the child is but kids have attachment issues. If you and she broke up, I'm pretty sure the little one would have a tough time trying to understand why you no longer are around.
If you and she are meant to be, slowing it down won't make her vanish. On the contrary.:)
I have backed off! I havent seen her since the day before yesterday.
I actually called a mutual friend of ours. I asked her on the phone if she is planning on dumping me and I would appreciate the heads up. Her explanation was "She is trying to get her kid into routine, when you are in her house and the kid starts crying upstairs in bed, your girl feels bad leaving you downstairs and sometimes rushed putting her back to sleep so she could be back with you. She doesn't want to do that anymore". My girl said to me herself that she is under stress with her rent being overdue and work. I proposed going to an amusement park with her and the kid and she loved the idea and said we should do it next week. Her friend also said that whenever her kid goes to her dads she wants to be excited to see you and maybe isnt so much if you are there all the time. The kid knows my name and I have called down to visit when the kid was there! she just doesnt want me there at night/staying over when the kid is there to get her settled into her own room at night! She has no problem with me coming to visit her during the day for an hour to see how she is.
Hey guys! We met on wednesday night. We had a great date. We walked on the beach and chilled out together. We were laughing and having fun. The next day she texted me saying "Hey, I hope you understand when I ask you to slow things down cos im not used to it. X" I then called her to ask her where I stood. She said that her mind is all over the place and would be best to end the relationship. I accepted and told her to take care.
She text me last night saying that I had stuff in her house and would I like to get it? I agreed. I went down to her house and asked her to talk. I said "I gave you every opportunity to slow things down, when I offered you space for a few days I backed off and you still called and texted me. How about we start all over again. Have one date per week to have a drink, have dinner and see where that goes. If things do reblossom between us I will be alot firmer regarding space and insist you take the space I offer you. I was following your lead as you have a child and I allowed you to make the relationship serious....which you did"
After this suggestion. She declined and said that she wasnt ready for a relationship as she had alot going on. She said I did nothing wrong and she wasnt entirely ready. She took responsibility and said sorry. I told her that her excuse for breaking up was pathetic and felt punished for her ex boyfriends mistake of neglecting her!! After this. I left. I got a call from her friend saying that my talk with her had upset her and demanded I apologise. I told her that I am taking her off my facebook and deleting her number so I dont call her when Im drunk etc. So...by the look of things. Its over. And im very dissapointed. I am applying the No contact rule.
ANY OPINIONS ANYONE?
You will get over her quickly if you cut off contact and try to just move on to someone who is truly into you. things are hard enough when you are both totally in love, why deal with drama when its not even that way between you two? take care