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Here we go with round 4... :(
Soo I have come to conclusion that I just can't catch a break. My dad just called me to tell me he thinks its getting to be close to the end for my grandma...backstory..she has been in nursing home for oh..7 or more yrs...alzheimers...and many other issues...recently she was put back on hospice after getting phnemonia 2 times within 2 months (during our honeymoon and then begining of this month)..and we have all been expecting it not to sound crude..but figured she had awhile still...) anyways...she is calling out for people and pets who have been gone for a long time and becoming a bit rowdy...*Sigh*..my grandpa did this week of his passing..same for great grandma...I really just waiting for the shoe to drop...:(
Poor hubby..he called to tell me he off work and Im ballin my eyes out and he's totally thrown for a loop...this just SUCKS...sorry Im just venting and upset...
What really sucks is that I barely could see her in the hospital without loosing it over my grandpa still and now Im in the torn spot of do I even go see her at the home when she doesnt know its me and hasnt for yrs and put myself thru even more pain..or just sit back and just remember her they way she used to be??? Im such a horrible granddaughter for even thinking this...UGH ;-(
Re: Here we go with round 4... :(
I don't want to say I know exactally how you feel, because I don't. But I have been in a very similar position. My grandmother had alzhiemers and other various illnesses for 10 years. I Would get so sad and frusterated when I would go see them, so once I became an independent adult I pretty much stopped visiting them. My granddad was always healthy (windsurfed into his early 90's), but he got colon cancer, they said he had 2-3 months to live. I made plans to go visit them after not seeing them for upwards of 5 years. He died the weekend before I was supposed to visit them.
Since then I realized that time is too precious to let things like awkward conversations, or my grandma not knowing who I am, (or where she is for that matter) stop me from making sure I spent time with her before she passed, so I have been trying to visit more the last few years. I have so many regrets from not spending time with my grandpa the few years before he passed and I don't want to have those same regrets with my grandma just for my own selfishness of not wanting to be in an awkward spot when she doesnt know me.
My grandma died in December, and I am so glad that I spent time with her over the past year. I don't have the same regrets I did. And I feel like she deserved my time and attention, for the years and legacy she contributed to our family. Her memorial is in 2 weeks (lots of reasons it got pushed back), and I am so glad I dont have to be ashamed that I didn't spend time with her.
I do encourage you to visit her, even if its just for 10 or 20 minutes. I think you will appriciate that you did looking back.
My Blog:Through My Eyes
You are not a terrible granddaughter. These are issues that affect a lot of people. My H and I have had this conversation lots of times regarding various people in our lives.
I guess the only thing I can offer to you is my own experience. My grandpa passed away a few years ago from cancer. The last month of his life is actually a time that I wouldn't have missed for the world. Even though we all knew Grandpa was dying, he made sure that he told each of us how much he loved us and what we meant to him. We all did the same for him. It was both the worst and best time with him. He and I had this wonderful conversation before he passed away, about nothing at all really, but yet it made him smile.
Even if you grandmother doesn't know you, she will know there is someone there with her at that moment. Sometimes just having someone there or someone to visit with, will give you the best moments of you life. I actually think you will get a lot out of the experience. In fact, just asking her to tell you some stories of when she was younger or things that happened in her life that she does remember, may gain a lot of insight for you.
I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. Not an easy time for any of you. T&P
I can somewhat relate.. although my grandma doens't have alzheimer's she's become incredibly cranky and really just terribly to be around. (Which some people have said is the beginning of dementia)
Whenever she sees my hubby she calls him fat. The most recent one was on her birthday she look at us and say "hi" then looks at my aunt and goes "he get's bigger everyime i see him" then looks at H and says "have you gained weight?"
She won't leave her apartment.. like ever (this is just recently). And she's lived in it for 20 years and smoked in it for 20 years.. it's disgusting.. and she still smokes like a freakin chimney.. she's a tiny lady like 4'6 - 4'8 and apparently is down under 80 pounds.. she's not long for this world .. but it's hard to want to go visit her when she's just cranky, and won't leaver her apartment and won't stop smoking while we're there... I leave any my eyes are burning and i'm coughing like mad. I do go see her when I go home.. but i sort of arrange it so that I show up, and have to leave in about half an hour. She's thrilled for the little amount of time I do spend there.
That would be my suggestion.. no one is saying you have to go and stay for hours.. but to go in and say hi... chat for a few minutes, or just be there with her.. and then take off.... Personally.. i'd regret it if I didn't.. which is why i go say hi to my grandma when i'm home...
Well Hubby and I did stop up there for about 20 mins...she doesnt look good at all
they had her drugged up to relax her from her fits she was having...its totall dejavu of how my grandpa's last days were...calling out for her parents, old pets..retaining fluid,,,wont eat or drink..he did same thing 
I am glad i did stop up...hubby got to finally meet her..not that she was awake or knew...but my dad is just a wreck...and I feel so bad for him...we just lost his dad not what..4-5 months ago? Like I told my cousin..im halfway numb about some stuff...but some triggers not being over my grandpa ...still...etc..but I just dont want her suffering anymore and neither do they ..so its just a matter of time...sigh...I will honestly be shocked if she makes it thru night..but I hope she does to give some of my cousins time to say goodbye 
Thanks for letting me vent a bit and I apprciate the T&P...thanks everyone
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