Am I lacking adaptability and am totally nuts or is this normal?

WildFlower2350

I moved in with my fiance last Sept-7 months before our wedding b/c after a year of searching I finally got a (part time) job in the area we would be living.  I moved to him for a variety of reasons but it is hours away from my family and friends.  In short...Ive been here a little less than a year and in that time, Ive changed jobs, left my own apartment and moved 2.5 hours into our home that my husband had before me, got married and am still trying to find my way.  I may be switching jobs again from PT to FT in a differnt organization.  I am STRESSED.  I cry a lot.  I miss my mom and dad, dad has Parkinson's and I worry all the time.  The new job requires travel as far as CA and I cant help but go the extreme and think "what if something happens to him and Im a plane-ride away?"  My husband things Im negative and doesnt understand why I go to the extreme... seriously though...I can be moody and just cry.  Are there any new brides out there or anyone who are having adjustment problems?  Is this normal?

TarponMonoxide

Sounds like your job is a bit on the stressful side -- and a job that requires travelling, whether occasionally or often, can be stressful and taxing.

Have you spoken to a counselor about this? Does your company offer counseling benefits for employees (I forget what it's called)?

Some of this sounds like concern for your parents, too: that is normal.

jnjmommy0609

It's normal to be stressed sure. Especially after all you have changed. But it doesn't make it good for you. Stress can become a huge deal if you let it. Also you can choose to not let it make you moody.

The two choices you have is be stressed and negative or be positive and take action in what you can control.

JemmaWRX

jnjmommy0609:

It's normal to be stressed sure. Especially after all you have changed. But it doesn't make it good for you. Stress can become a huge deal if you let it. Also you can choose to not let it make you moody.

The two choices you have is be stressed and negative or be positive and take action in what you can control.

Agreed.  Listen, if you feel the stress and anxiety are insurmountable, don't hesitate to see your PCP for anti-anxiety medication and/or seek a therapist.  You have to reason with yourself too and actively work to reduce stress and create happiness.  If you want some "home rememdies" for managing stress - work out, have sex, do yoga, and simply get out there and start living your life in your new home.  You can not worry yourself over things you have no control over, it's futile.  Good luck.

TruthWithin

I can understand where you are coming from. My parents live 6 hours away and after my husband and I got married and I moved in I got very emotional and kind of depressed from having the summer off work and not feeling like I was contributing, getting used to living differently, and having issues with BCP. My husband actually got scared I thought I had made a mistake....which made me even more sad!

 But it got better! You sound very stressed out, and I hope you and your husband are very open and honest with each other so you can talk, because getting through all of that is hard and I hope that he can support you! Good luck! I hope you feel better and hope I can help....at least a little  

wealldeservepretty

it is called an EMPLOYEE ASSISTANCE PROGRAM and they provide counseling -- well worth it.  You are going through a lot of stress and you should have support.  Good luck and please PM me if you have any questions, as I am a social worker.

Erinm278

I moved 3.5 hours away to be with my H.  I never felt the stress that you feel but I think it's normal.  You need to make friends in your new home and give yourself time to settle in.

DanniLynn88

My adjustment wasn't living with my DH, we have lived together for almost 4 years. My parents just moved from NC to FL last week, and I have never been more than 15 minutes up the road. On top of it, my bestie just got married and as happy as I am for her, it's hard because she is unreachable, I know she's a newlywed, but right now I need support since my DH doesn't get why I'm upset, he isn't close with either of his parents and could go a year without seeing them and not be upset. 

Samboni

I think it's totally normal. You have had a TON of changes in less than a year. I'm sorry you're dad is sick. Having a sick parent nearby is tough, and moving away from one is even tougher. Look at that part as "he's ONLY a plane ride away." You can be there quickly if you need to be. Start looking at ways to make new friends. Join a gym to burn some emotion away and meet people in classes. Go to happy hour with coworkers. Skype with your friends and family back home. Also, send fun gifts to each other randomly. Anything like a keychain, funny picture, or jewelry. Do a rotating schedule so that you're either sending or receiving something once a week. It'll busy your mind, keep you guys connected, and its always fun to get something in the mail. Set a date for a trip back home to give you something to look forward to in the rough times. For every hour spent being sad about home, make yourself spend an hour finding things to do in your new home. I hope you love it soon!

trompete

I can completly understand your feelings.  I have just moved 2 hours from where I grew up and got married.  I have only been here about 1 1/2 months and it has been difficult.  I would say what you are going through is very normal.  I am still adjusting and some days are much better than others.