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helping a young child cope with loss of pet
Last week our 5 year old cat died unexpectedly. Our vet suspects a blood clot in her lung.
My 2 1/2 year was extremely attached to her- and was unfortunately there to witness her suffering and death. He found her under the table while she was gasping and started sobbing and brought her his bear to snuggle. We rushed her to the vet, thinking she was choking, and she was sitting beside him in the car. She passed away in the car about two blocks from the vet.
When we brought her inside, Jack kept asking to hold her and was reaching for her and screaming for her when we left. That night I heard him tell our dogs that "Lucy isn't here anymore." I made the horrible mistake of bringing him with me to a shelter to donate all of Lucy's things, where he thought he saw her. He yelled out "Oh Lucy there ya are!" It broke my heart.
Last night he couldn't sleep and kept saying he was "sad for Lucy-Cat." My H thinks we should get him a new cat. It's been 9 days, I think it's too soon.
I feel like he's been traumatized by seeing his kitty die and I don't know how to help him heal. I'm sorry this is so long, I just don't know what to do. Would a new cat just be ridiculous and a distraction, not a solution?
Re: helping a young child cope with loss of pet
Have you had any sort of "funeral" for the cat. When I was a child and lost a pet, my parents would bury it in our back yard and we would all say something we would miss about them, then say goodbye. It was nice to have a sense of closure. We marked their grave site with a rock, so it was nice to be able to go back whenever we wanted to say hi.
Even if you didn't (or don't want to) bury her, you could get a picture or something to remember her by, and have a little ceremony for her.
If you've already done this (or don't want to), just make sure to keep positively reinforcing that the cat is no longer suffering, and is now happy playing with all the other cats that have passed away (or something along those lines, depending on your beliefs).
I also agree with PP, don't get another cat yet. It will just cause unnecessary stress on your family. Definitely wait until you feel he has closure with the loss of this cat. I would say give it at least another few weeks or even months. It really just depends on how your son copes.