Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Name Change VENT!!!!
I'm so angry with the way my name change stuff is being handled at work -- they are completely insensitive.
I
changed my legal name to First Maiden Married, and I am using all three
names on everything - drivers license, checks, etc. It is my legal
name and legal signature.
For the most part, they completely
ignore the maiden in the systems at work, which is annoying.. but the
thing that has me most pissed off is the email situation.
Everyone
at work has first initial last name for their email. Which would be
fine, but DH and I work at the same place and have the same first
initial and (now) last name. So he already has the e-mail address that would
be the default to give to me. They want my email address at work to be
the same as his, but with a 2 after it
Ex:
tmarried2@abc.org
I
HATE this. I think it's terrible. Not only do I think numbers in
e-mail address are awful, but it plays right into the whole reason I
struggled deciding on the name issue -- I think it makes me look like
I'm some second incarnation of him, and it drives me nuts.
The other option they were willing to consider is
tmaidenmarried@abc.org
... but that's 20 letters BEFORE the @ sign in addition to the 16 that
are after the @ sign. That is plum too long for an email.
They are refusing to do tgmarried@abc.org
which would be a reasonable length and not have a freaking number. I
don't get WHY.. they are just saying "it's not how things are done" and
it's getting me so, so, SO upset about it.
It's a super sensitive issue for me and I just feel like I'm not being listened to at all.
Re: Name Change VENT!!!!
I don't really have much advice except for that what your company is doing seems pretty common, mine is the same way. My maiden & married last names are both very common, and in both undergrad and grad school I've had numbers after my email; I also always have to have numbers in any sort of username or email I make.
I mean this in the nicest way, and since you admitted that it is a sensitive issue for you I'm hoping you won't take this the wrong way. I think you're focusing your anger on the email address situation when it seems like you are upset about taking his name in the first place. Are you regretting your decision?
Is there someone in HR that you can talk to about this?
My Blog
Is there someone in HR that you can talk to about this?
My Blog
If I were you, I think I'd just go with this. Once you've added an e-mail address to your contact list, you're good to go--it's not like people have to type out the whole thing every time they send you an e-mail.
The reason this is a bad idea is because I teach-- the people who I email back and forth change all the time. There is no way the majority of my students' parents would be able to type it all in correctly and communicate with me as they should.
Ah, I see. That is different from an office environment. What do you teach?
8th grade history and English.. I work in a really high poverty school. My existing email has already proven to be a challenge for their parents (it was 13 characters before the @).. so I know 20 will just be completely impractical.
I completely get where you are coming from. Where I work there is already a first initial last name person working there so they ended up just dropping the last letter of my last name for my email so its first initial last name minus the d. It's really weird and confuses people all the time.
Hopefully they come to their senses soon and realize how difficult this will be for those you are supposed to be helping.
Yay! I'm glad!