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I know this is petty but I was kind of annoyed...
My son had a birthday party back in Novemer and I invited his whole class, most of whom showed. It was a great time and everyone enjoyed themselves. Anyway we get home and he opens the presents and one of the gifts he got was an already used lego set. The box had been re-taped shut and all the pieces were in a Hefty zip-lock bag (not the numbered cellophane bags). All the pieces were there and DS enjoyed putting it together so I let it go. I figured maybe they didn't have money for a gift but didn't want to come empty handed (and of course how do you tell your child he can't go to a birthday party?).
Anyway, fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and I'm talking to the boy's mom in the park and we get on the subject of apartment hunting and she tells me that they just closed on a 3 bed, 2 bath co-op. I live in NYC and I can tell you that you can't buy an apt. that size for less than 2 or 3 million - yes, MILLION. We then get to talking about work (I'm a SAHM) and she tells me that her husband is a financial planner and she is a buyer for Bloomingdales.
Now, I don't want to sound greedy, I'm not expecting an Xbox Kinect or some other crazy gift that costs $300, but with the money they have you think they could have spent $20 on a new Lego set and not re-boxed one of their son's old sets.
I, of course didn't say anything and never would because in the end I have no clue what their reason for the obvious re-gift was, it just kinda bugged me.
Re: I know this is petty but I was kind of annoyed...
I get why your upset but for all we know they felt that $20 could be put to better use for bills or something. It's a possibility that they are putting themselves in major debt for this.
Personally I do my best to afford a gift for someone. Or at least hand make something. I have never re-gifted.
I tend to agree with this. I re-gift a lot...usually not things that have actually been used or not in it's original packaging. I grew up in Mexico, and honestly with the amount of poverty in the world...even in suburban america/canada with the economic downturn, I think its kind of foolish to not look for things you dont need anymore that are still in great condition to give or gift to someone who would appriciate them more before running out to the store to spend money. Especially since its a child, my experience with children is they don't give a crap what the packaging looks like.
But if they were house-hunting, my guess is that that are tighter for money then you seem to think, just as you are making financial sacrifices to be stay at home mom, they may be making financial sacrifices to live in a house that they want. As someone who recently bought a house, I totally understand the words house-poor. We lived a pretty carefree lifestyle and spent money on everyone and everything before we started looking at houses, now we cant afford to buy groceries some weeks. Maybe they are just trying to be smart with thier money and be able to provide for thier family AFTER they buy the house.
One more theory...knowing little boys, is it possible that the classmate of your son, not his mother wanted to give him his lego and thought it was the best present ever to give to him? I know at least a few kids who would be heartbroken if they got excited about giving thier very special _______ to someone for a present and thier mom said, no we are going to go buy something new for them.
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Seriously?
Maybe one of their kids opened the Lego box that was intended for your son and they 1) didn't have time to buy a new one once it was discovered or 2) they decided it would be a life lesson to re-assemble the package and gift it as intended.
FWIW, DS went through an inpulsive phase where he would have done the same. At my shower I was given a car seat hastily wrapped in aluminum foil. My cousin is sort of anal about the whole Hallmark matchy-matchy gift wrap, so it seemed sort of uncharacteristic for her. She later confessed she had wrapped it beautifully but that her young daughter unwrapped it while she got ready to come to the shower.
It's a little annoying. The regifting thing itself isn't annoying, but the whole "I'm spending a bunch of money on an apartment" thing is frustrating. I don't get why she would tell you that, especially since she did re-gift a present. I only regift things that are completely new. I got 4 pizza pans for my wedding, and instead of returning them, I gave 3 of them to people for various occasions.
I don't like the thought of giving someone something your kid has used for the following reasons:
1) Germs. I don't like them. I don't know if you cleaned that toy. How, at a party, can you tactfully take away a toy and be like, "I would like to clean this before you use it?" This is not as much of a concern with new, in-the-wrapping toys.
2) It just seems selfish. Now before you bite my head off for wondering how the giver could be selfish, let me point out that most children receive new gifts at their birthday. So instead of thinking of a nice affordable present, or something you could make homemade, you decide to kill two birds with one stone for yourself and get rid of an old toy while also not paying for a present. I mean, at least make a cool photo collage of the kids together, or even make a T-Shirt or :something:. If they're feeding your kid, the least you can do is get a new, not all germy present, even if it's a $5 movie from the bin at Walmart.
3) You create an awkward situation. Should people get your kid a new present, or regift something? Will that be petty? Do you give other kids new presents? I mean, honestly, $5 Walmart movie just totally avoids the whole inevitable (albeit a little petty) wondering about your motives.
I tend to agree with most of this. You don't really know why she did it, so I wouldn't make assumptions about it. I would try to let it go.