Husband or friends?

natdes83

so my husband and I are the type of people that LOVE to do EVERYTHING together.. if it comes to having to do something with just a friend we don't enjoy it and much rather decline on the invite to do something with that friend.. is this normal? (example: my friend wants to have a girls only pool party in a couple weekends, and i much rather be spending my weekend time with my hubby)

jnjmommy0609

Of course it's normal. But you do need SOME alone time with friends too. 

natdes83

we do spend time with friends as couples

ReturnOfKuus

Weird, clingy, and definitely not normal.  I can see wanting to spend most of your time together, but ALL of it, to the point where you won't even hang out with your friends without your husband in tow?  Weird, and if I were you, I'd prepare myself for slowly losing all my friends.

erollis

H and I love to be together and can't stand being apart. We spend time with friends and family as a couple the majority of the time. The thing is even though we would love to be together it is important to us to nurture our friendships too. That requires spending time away from each other. We have the ability and have fun with friends witout the other around. I have traveled across the counrty a few times without H for different reasons. I missed him horribly but wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. Plus occasionally we need that time apart to keep our relationship as strong as it is. 

What I am getting at is if you can't be apart from H ever (same applies to your H) you will be hurting your friendships. Your friend is saying that she wants girl time with you and probably needs it. Go to the girls only party. Then your H could spend some quality guy time with a couple of his friends the same day.

If there is ever something you want to do and your H doesn't, invite a girl friend along. You will be able to do what you want and keep your friendships strong. 

cgiles120812

There's nothing wrong with that, but it is a good idea to make time with your friends also. You just have to kind of have a balance. But I understand about wanting to not be apart from the DH but when he doesn't want to do girly stuff that's when I go with my friends.

cpm1223

I think a combination of time with friends alone, time with friends with your H, and alone time with your H is healthy. Not being able to go anywhere or do anything without your husband there with you, in my opinion, is not "normal" or healthy.

H and I hang out with other couples, but there's plenty of times where his friends want to go fishing, shooting etc, and I have no interest in going....or if I want to get my nails done, or go shopping, he has no interest in doing that with me.

I think if you continue to never go anywhere or do anything without your H by your side, you will loose some of these friends.

Joy2611

ReturnOfKuus:

Weird, clingy, and definitely not normal.  I can see wanting to spend most of your time together, but ALL of it, to the point where you won't even hang out with your friends without your husband in tow?  Weird, and if I were you, I'd prepare myself for slowly losing all my friends.

I'm with Kuus.  I love my husband and we hang out often, but I'm perfectly content doing my own thing a lot of the time.  I got married; I didn't gain a person permanently stitched to my side. 

Samboni

ReturnOfKuus:

Weird, clingy, and definitely not normal.  I can see wanting to spend most of your time together, but ALL of it, to the point where you won't even hang out with your friends without your husband in tow?  Weird, and if I were you, I'd prepare myself for slowly losing all my friends.

The Kuus is wise. You NEED relationships with other people apart from your H. Sounds like you're very newly married and it's great that you're happy, but you're ruining your friendships. After your marriage matures, you'll be looking for your girlfriends and they'll have moved on out of frustration. Invest a small amount of time with the girls and it will benefit your marriage (absence /fonder) and your friendships.

cndycne2005

I, like you, would almost always rather spend my time with my husband than with other people and my husband is the same way.  However, it is healthy to get out and see your friends too, especially friends who were your friends before your husband came along.  And as much as your friends may (or may not?) like your husband, sometimes they just want to spend time with you, where they can feel free to be themselves, hence the girls-only pool party you speak of.  I say you should go, and make an effort to see your friends more often.  You don't want them to start to feel scorned on account of your husband, again, especially if they were your friends before your husband came along. That will be neither good for you nor your husband.

blgrout

I enjoy having time with my girls.  We try and have a girls night once a month, and either do a wine tasting at someone's house, or go see a chick flick that I could never get my DH to see, or get pedicures, etc.  We get to spend quality time together and keep our bond strong, and it actually helps my relationship with my DH.  I miss him when we're not together, and it gives me a chance to realize why I love him so much and why I love spending so much time with him.  When DH and I spend too much time together and my friends and I don't get together for a while, I start taking him for granted, and that's not healthy.

 Try going to the pool party, I bet you'll have a great time. 

iverske9

I'd say my hubby and I do about 75% things together than the rest is me and freind time. I love my hubby he is my best friend but after 9 years together we need to keep some things to ourselves so we can bring new things to the table.

MrsLip

Its not like she said she NEVER spends time with friends.

I think everyone is reading into it too much. Anyone watch Grey's Anatomy? Everyone has a person, it can be a best friend or your spouse. He is her person. My H is my person.It sounds like a lot of you prefer your friends, or maybe 50/50. I think that a lot of people need more social time but I've always been a shy person and only keep a few friends. So 90% of the time its just me and my hubbs. Its not like we don't have friends, we do but we work so much that of the little time we have off, we want to spend it together. So I get it. I've skipped out of plenty of things just to stay in and have a quiet night with H. Yeah, I've lost some friends but none that close. I've found that the people that really count stick around.... even if you only see each other every few weeks.... or *gasp* a few times a year!