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5 months married & find out he's been cheating.
Sorryfor all the typos did this off my phone & sorry it's so long.
My husband and I had our problems but never ever serious. There were a few suspicions. 2 months after the wedding he began to be all secretive of his phone we had been together for 5 years and that had never bothered him before? Couple times I found messages of an unknown number calling him baby. I always confronted him & he always denied when I confronted him about a rumor I had heard of him cheating, he began to cry and he never cried unless I really hurt him. 2 weeks ago he left. I got worried when he said that he was Goig to lunch with his cuzin and still hadn't come home after 4 hours? That after noon he told me we were done that I didn't trust him. I waited for him to come back cuz he promised enwould. But he didn't began to ignore me & 2 days ago I found out he had been having an affair with his coworker since 2 weeks after our weddig? I am sodimb I miss him so much! I gave that man everything for 5 years.when we got married everything was fine he treated me like I was his everything! We had even talked bout starting a family soon. & he does this. I found out he tells her he loves her and all this stuff he told me? To top this whole situation off, he was just using me until he could find a place for him because he had gotten her pregnant two months ago. If she was at least pretty? But she is hideous everyone tht has seen pics of her says so top! She has been separated & has an 8 month old daughter? Her husband left her only a month before she got with my husband! I feel so used. So upset & I don't know what to do now? I just want my life back! Of he ne'er wanted to be married why did he marry me & act like he loved me of he never did. I feel so dumb for missing him & still wanting to be with him web his is all clearly over.
Re: 5 months married & find out he's been cheating.
1) Get a lawyer.
2) Get help. Whether it's a family member, a friend, or a counselor. Talk to some about your emotions. Someone you can vent to and can help you vent/grieve.
Also, why does it matter what she looks like?
Of course you know this was bad news -- and this was when you should have been a smart woman, taken the high road and called off the relationship and marriage:
My husband and I had our problems but never ever serious. There were a few suspicions. 2 months after the wedding he began to be all secretive of his phone we had been together for 5 years and that had never bothered him before?
A guy who is secretive about his phone is up to no good. And no man who is engaged to be married is in inappropriate contact with another female.
Get this union of marriage annulled in a civil court. This is a guy who does not want a lifelong committment with one woman. For you to try to make a silk purse out of the proverbial sow's ear would be impossible, not to mention insulting to you and your intelligence.
Please put yourself fiirst. And keep safe --- I second the PP who suggested you get help; you need to vent and yes, you need closure, too.
Go home to your parents house or a good friend's house or an aunt and uncle who care bout you. Extricate yourself from this loser ASAP. Good luck and God Bless.
PS: IT has been proven that the other woman in extramarital affairs is not always the best looking. Nobody knows why that is. So looks is not the reason why a guy cheats.
He cheated because he's a jerk. Plain and simple.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I agree you need to lawyer up. I do think you still dodged a bullet, at least you don't have any children with him. I would see if you can get an annulment since he clearly entered into the marriage under false presences. I also understand why it matters what she looks like. Its kinda like what makes her better than me, so its kinda like relieving you and other parties feel you are more attractive but you also wonder why he is with her then and kind of make you question yourself.
Good Luck!
First off...go to www.survivinginfidelity.com. You will find a lot of people there who are going through what you are.
Get yourself into some counseling. You are going to have to grieve the loss of your fantasy - the life you *thought* you were going to have with the man you *thought* you were marrying - and that will take the help of a professional.
Ditto getting an annulment. Talk to a good family law attorney ASAP to see what your rights are in this situation.
You have done nothing wrong. Hold your head high.
Wow, I am so sorry to hear this. As hard as it is, you need to go ahead and start moving on without him. Talk to a lawyer and like PPs have said, you should talk to someone. This is a lot to take in, and having an outsider to talk to would do you some good. *hugs*
Lawyer up and leave!
First of all, not trying to be harsh but it doesn't matter how his mistress looks, the point is your husband had no respect for you or your vows. You should be seeing a divorce attorney and changing your locks if you plan to still live there. Everytime you want to miss him, remember the screwed up *** he did and become angry instead of sad. I suggest seeing a therapist, some companies provide a few free sessions for their employees, that might help sort your thoughts and feelings out and help you heal. It sucks to be going through this but you have to be strong, not look back. It's a good thing you didn't have children tying you to this man. You're young and can pick up the pieces, wishing you luck and speedy heart healing.
Make copies of everything you can lay your hands on.
Call a lawyer.
Change the locks.
Dump his lying, cheating butt.
Find someone fabulous who deserves you.
I am so sorry lady! I hope things get better. Just be strong and move on. It's 5 years of your life yes, but you have the rest of your life ahead of you. Bite the bullet and put it behind you. Divorce him and search for someone that won't treat you this way. No one deserves to be cheated on, and if did it once he'll do it again.
Good luck.