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Nervous about Sex
Hi all. I am new to The Nest and hope to get some reassurance or some advice.
I am with a really great guy. We just moved in together and are getting married May 18, 2013. He is everything I have ever wanted in a man, he is generous, has a HUGE heart, is a hard worker and most of all really loves me. He tells me all the time how pretty I am and how much he loves me.
The problem is that we are way different as far as our pasts are concerned. I am 40 and he is 44. He has been with WAY more women than I have been with men. Most of it was very casual on his part when he was younger, one night stands and that sort of thing. I have only had 6 important relationships.
He wants to try a lot of different things with me that I have either never done, or only done a few times. Even though I am 40, I feel like I am really inexperienced when it comes to sex. Most of my sex life previously has been pretty garden variety.
I want to please him and he isn't asking me to do anything that I am uncomfortable with or that I am not willing to do. He has been very careful not to pressure me or anything. The problem is that I am afraid that I won't be enough for him, or he will think I suck at it. How do I get over this insecurity? He says that the fact that I am a willing participant is all he is looking for right now and all the rest will come in time. Our sex life is great other than me being insecure about his past. Thanks for reading!
Re: Nervous about Sex
The beauty of sex is it takes two people to do it! So if it sucks for him, then he's not making the most of what he could. If it's bad for you, it's because of you. The key to awesome sex is communication, my wife and I talk constantly when we have sex. I want to try this position, and she's uncomfortable she'll vocalize what the issue is and we both make the correction. Sometimes it ends in complete failure and we both just laugh about it.
Never worry about how many women he's been with and how few men you've slept with. Between the both of you focus on what you both like, and talk about it openly.
Don't think about comparing yourself or him to others. I was with a guy before H and I can honestly say I've never compared them in bed (other than how much I love H and am happy it's him I am intimate with). I think most people would feel the same.