May 2012 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How long were you with H before you got married?
My Husband and I were together for nearly 6 years before we got married which is an extreme, but I'm curious to everyone else. What is sparking this conversation is a friend of mine just got engaged to a man she has been dating for around a month and a half and I am happy for her, but could not imagine it for myself after being with H for so long.
Re: How long were you with H before you got married?
Wow, that is a really short time! That'd be a red flag to me, personally....
We'll have been together 4 years this fall, but we were friends for 2 years before that so it makes it seem like even longer.
We dated nearly 7 years. Actually, our 7 year anniversary is comin up in a few weeks. We were high school sweethearts so if we got married after 2 years of being together (what I consider a good amount of time) we would have been 18 years old. We wanted to be responsible about it so we waited until we were out of college and had our lives somewhat figured out, hence the 7 year relationship... I know we aren't typical, but it worked for us...
geojam--your story is ours exactly!
Glad I'm not the only one who cringed at the 1 month engagement...
we met and kinda dated starting in 2005...but then I went to college and told him to take a hike haha. He waited and fate brought us together again in 2008 when my mom almost broke her neck in a pool injury (he's a lifeguard...I called him to see what I should expect..he met me at the hospital, my hero). So...just about 4 years consecutively, but we knew each other much longer.
FWIW I know a very happy couple that got engaged after one month and married after 6 months...they've been together for almost 30 years and have 6 children. And then on the other side I have a friend who got engaged after one month and they called off the wedding a few months later. It could go either way!
We were together for 2 years 9 months when DH proposed and 4.5 years when we actually got married. We were friends for about a year before we began dating.
I would definitely need to be with someone at least 2-3 years before accepting a proposal, plus I would have to live with them before... and I wouldn't want to live together unless we had been dating for 1.5 years to 2 years.
I guess everyone is different
We'll have been together 10 years in September
H's Greek grandfather really instilled in him & his brother that they had to be able to provide for their wives before they should get married (BIL & his FI have been together 7 years, fwiw). So we waited for us both to get out of school and for H to start his career.
Totally worth it
H and I were together almost a year when we got engaged but we had known each other almost 2 years. We met 3 years ago now. But in that time we had to deal with a lot of things most people our age have never been through which brought us super close.
They say when you know you just know but I feel you don't know someone after a month. After 6 months H and I knew we wanted to get married but we still waited and saved a little first.
FWIW I know a very happy couple that got engaged after one month and married after 6 months...they've been together for almost 30 years and have 6 children. And then on the other side I have a friend who got engaged after one month and they called off the wedding a few months later. It could go either way!
Truly a sign that everyone is different.
We've dated for almost 5 years, and have known each other for 7. I can't imagine getting engaged after a month, but to each their own!
We met in high school. H asked me out my sophomore year, but I had no interest!! We ran back into each other in college when we started dating! We were together about 3.5 years when we got engaged, and we just celebrated our five year anniversary!
He still gives me a hard time about turning him down ten years ago
Hopefully they will opt for a LONG engagement =]
This September will be our 7 year dating anniversary!
We had a semi-long engagement (1 1/2 years)
I could never marry someone (or be engaged) without feeling like I truly know the other person and vice versa. H and I have learned a LOT about each other in the almost 7 years we've been together. We've also gone through some rough times, happy times, boring times etc. which I feel is very important to see how your relationship grows or changes over time.
Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron
They're getting married next June
H and I had been dating for 2 years and 9 months when he proposed.
And we were together for nearly 4.5 years when we got married.
H and I dated for about 2 and a half years before getting engaged. We were married exactly 3.5 years after our first date.
While I had basically moved in with him after a few months, I still paid rent at my apartment for over a year before officially moving in with him (my lucky roommate got a 2 bedroom apt to herself for a year.. I paid my share of rent and utilities!)
In my opinion, the 'appropriate' length of dating before marriage is proportionate to age. When you're in your early 20s, you probably need to date someone for longer. For me, I was 30 when we met. I've been in a number of pretty serious relationships, and have learned not only what I want/need out of a partner, but also how to quickly identify those traits.
H had only had one serious relationship (they dated 7 years, HS sweethearts- she called off their wedding a few days before it was supposed to happen). It took him a little longer to get to the point where he was sure I was the one. I knew pretty quickly he and I would be happy for the rest of our lives... but I had to let him get there on his own. And he did
My parents dated for only a couple of months- in fact my mom was dating another guy when she met my father. He broke up with her, she started dating my father, and the other guy decided he wanted her back. 9 months later my parents were married- as soon as my father had graduated college. 40 years and 3 kids later, they are still married and they make everyone sick because they are so darn cute.
H and I will celebrate 8 years together this October! We started dating in our sophomore year of college so we were in no rush for marriage, we wanted to take our time to settle and find jobs first. We moved in together after having been together for four years, he proposed a year later and almost two years later we married!
Two weeks after we started dating H told me he loved me. That freaked me out enough. I think if he had also popped the question I would have ran in the opposite direction! But to each their own. I personally don't see the rush. If you love someone enough to marry them a month into a relationship shouldn't you still love them that much a year later? Why not take your time?
After a month of dating? wow.... dont think, I could do it.
We started dating in October 2008. He moved in January 2010. We got in engaged in November 2010. Married in May 2012. So i guess, we were together for like 3.5 years before getting married? I even thought after a little bit over 1 year of dating and he moving in after, was pretty quick for my taste... but the lease on his apartment was up... so either he moved in then, or a year later... so we decided, he should move in instead of renewing his lease and he hasn't moved out yet. LOL
As I mentioned, my feelings on this subject changed a lot as I got older.
In my college years into my early 20's, I would have said I needed to date someone 2-3 years before I would even dream of maybe marrying them.
I also felt that there was no rush, and if I wanted to marry them, who cares if it was now, or 3 years from now, we'll still get married.
Fast forward to my 30's, and instead, I no longer wanted to wait for waiting's sake. I was ready, so once he was ready, I didn't see any reason to wait.
I wasn't ever sure, though, if my feelings from earlier were because I hadn't found him yet, or because I was younger. Once I met H, I jumped into the camp of wanting to spend the rest of my life with him, and wanting that married life with him as soon as possible
I hadn't ever felt that way.. In fact, I never understood people who did, until H came along.
Also cringed at the month and a half mark. Did they at least know each other before dating?
We were together for 4 years before getting married.
We got married roughly 3 years after we started dating. We had a 10 month engagement. I think for us it was the perfect amount of time
We were 24 & 25 when we first met, also, we've never lived together before getting married. I think choosing to live together before marriage may work for some people, but I think the way we did it worked perfect for us 
My BFP Chart Danger Love Blog
Dated since Feb 26 2006, Engaged July 13 10, Married 5/19/12
We saw so many couples meet and get married before we did...it frustrated me and the time but now I know we did what was right for us.
My best friend is happily going on her 4th anniversary to a guy she knew for 3 mnths, trust me I was very unsure about the situation but it worked out best for them.